Grace of Monaco - Movie Poster

Grace of Monaco

2.0 Anne Murphy

The story Grace Kelly's crisis of marriage and identity, during a political dispute between Monaco and France, and a looming invasion of Monaco.

We're informed that this is a fictitious account of real events and it's impossible to discern what's real and what's not. It's an intriguing story that might have worked better as complete fiction. The princess is acted with beauty and grace, pardon the pun, but there are an annoying number of full screen close-ups of her countenance. If the camera is looking for warts shouldn't it focus on a frog or the prince? Airy-fairytale.


Bad Neighbours - Movie Poster

Bad Neighbours

2.0 Anthony Macali

A couple with a newborn face unexpected difficulties after they're forced to live next to a frat house.

"Bad Neighbours" lives up to the name. These new arrivals are loud, noisy and not very funny. It's apparent the dialogue is largely made of improvisation; a continuous set of fraternity gags and two conniving parents… neither side of the fence is a winner. All the best jokes have cultural references, and with the film won't stand the test of time. The excruciating characters and experience make the running time feel so long. Just bad.


Winter's Tale - Movie Poster

Winter's Tale

2.0 Anthony Macali

A burglar falls for an heiress as she dies in his arms. When he learns that he has the gift of reincarnation, he sets out to save her.

The greatest miracle in "Winter's Tale" is how the film was born in the first place. For the most part, it doesn't make any sense, and talk of true love and flying horses only complicates matters even more. The funny thing is (aside from the cringe-worthy dialogue) is that the audience may actually find themselves interested in seeing just what other foolishness they might come up with. It seems the only magic lies in making up rules along the way to suit the story. Destined to fail.


Labor Day - Movie Poster

Labor Day

2.0 Anne Murphy

Depressed single mom Adele and her son Henry offer a wounded, fearsome man a ride.

Five days can pass with a blink in screen time, but in this two hour effort the "Labor Day" weekend seems interminable, and staying engaged takes a bit of effort. This low-action romance might leave you snickering as the credits roll, such is the implausibility, and it's difficult to believe it's supposed to be taken seriously. Fortunately the actors keep the film together with fine performances, yet as hard as they work, their efforts are insufficient to weigh credibility to the story. Even if you're ready for the weekend, just keep Friday on your mind.


Austenland - Movie Poster

Austenland

2.0 Anne Murphy

Obsessed with Pride and Prejudice, a woman travels to a Jane Austen theme park in search for her perfect gentleman.

This is one of those times when the story ought to have remained a literary piece and not have been brought to the screen. The actors ham up romance scenes in a corny but corseted way. "Austenland" is daffy, cute and insubstantial; there is no trace of the wit and wisdom of the author on whose classic works this fantasy piece teeters. Not the end of the world, but it is a relief to reach this land's end.


The Butler - Movie Poster

The Butler

2.0 Stefan Bugryn

The story of Cecil Gaines, who for three decades served as the chief butler in the White House for eight consecutive US Presidents.

The main problem with "The Butler" is it tries to fit too much into tight parameters, and becomes a little trying as a result. In fact, there's so much going on, it actually feels like there's nothing going on at all. The story between the lead character and his son is engaging enough, but even so, there isn't much depth to the lead himself. He is actually a little boring, much like the entire movie. You'll be better served somewhere else.


I'm So Excited! - Movie Poster

I'm So Excited!

2.0 Anne Murphy

When it appears as though the end is in sight, the pilots, flight crew, and passengers of a plane heading to Mexico City look to forget the anguish.

The raunchy over the top camp moments deliver the most entertaining segments, but there's not much more to "I'm So Excited". The movie under delivers to an extent that makes the title seem paradoxical. The antics in the first class cabin left this viewer enthused. The flamboyance is fun but overall the production fails to soar. I'm so excited, not.


We're the Millers - Movie Poster

We're the Millers

2.0 Anne Murphy

A veteran pot dealer creates a fake family as part of his plan to move a huge shipment of weed into the U.S. from Mexico.

"We're the Millers" will divide audiences. Some will find it hilarious and entertaining, while others will squirm and remain straight faced. Try this test; do you usually like movies that are advertised in bus shelters? Answer "yes siree", then next stop is the cinema. Answer "meh, I don’t think so", then stay on board. This film doesn't ask much of viewers, yet doesn't deliver much either. Ironically it's about a big deal... but is no big deal.


Now You See Me - Movie Poster

Now You See Me

2.0 Anne Murphy

An FBI agent and an Interpol detective track a team of illusionists who pull off bank heists during their performances and reward their audiences with the money.

"Now You See Me" is a dazzlingly stylish but silly movie. This sort of cat and mouse thriller is generally not known for its plausible plot and, holey-moley, this one stretches credulity to breaking point. Thank goodness for the likeable cast who seem to revel in the hocus-pocus. The production lacks some magic, partly because every trick that's conjured is also revealed - a bit of a letdown. Leaves nothing up its sleeve.


The Hangover Part III - Movie Poster

The Hangover Part III

2.0 Andrew O'Dea

There's no wedding and no bachelor party... but when the Wolfpack hits the road, all bets are off.

"The Hangover Part III" is a victim of its own success. Still running on the fumes of the hugely popular first installment, this outing is nothing more than a shameless cash-grab, where the only real debauchery involved is its mere production. What sort of 'hangover' movie doesn't even have a hangover? While there are some rare and isolated moments of hilarity, what lies in-between is nothing but a desert bereft of comedy or thrills – where any laughter is contrived and strained at best. What happened in Vegas should've stayed in Vegas.


Hyde Park on Hudson - Movie Poster

Hyde Park on Hudson

2.0 Anne Murphy

The story of the affair between FDR and his cousin Daisy Suckley, centered around the weekend in 1939 when the King of England visited New York.

The most entertaining thread of "Hyde Park on The Hudson" comes from the pronunciation of 'hot dog' by the royal couple. Disarmingly straight-faced, they consider whether to eat one. It's a small highlight in what is an otherwise lacklustre production about a philatelist president and his dowdy cousin. "How I longed for him" is typical of the narration provided, courtesy of the mooning paramour to explain what isn't apparent on the screen. The Hudson reduced to a rivulet.


The Incredible Burt Wonderstone - Movie Poster

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

2.0 Anthony Macali

When a street magician's stunts begins to make their show look stale, superstar magicians Burt Wonderstone and Anton Marvelton look to salvage on their act.

The world of magic is an easy target, which makes it even more astonishing how much of a failure "The Incredible Burt Wonderstone" is. Not long after the first act, the tired comedic routine becomes repetitive and predictable. Viewers beware; don't be fooled by the illustrious cast, who might try hard, but are not funny, performing with little class and no laughs. As a member of the audience, you'll wish you could disappear.


Side Effects - Movie Poster

Side Effects

2.0 Anne Murphy

A woman's world unravels when a drug prescribed by her psychiatrist has unexpected side effects.

Much like its characters, "Side Effects" is never in touch with reality, not that realism, per se, is necessary for a good movie. The misrepresentation of mental health problems and treatment is a little unforgivable though; an already marginalised population may be further stigmatised, and that's not entertainment. There are lots of twists and turns that build intrigue but somehow the story manages to become more preposterous with each plot revelation, and the suspension of disbelief is necessary for viewing enjoyment. Pharma meets psychodrama.


Trouble with the Curve - Movie Poster

Trouble with the Curve

2.0 Anthony Macali

An ailing baseball scout in his twilight years takes his daughter along for one last recruiting trip.

Don't expect too much baseball in "Trouble with the Curve". Instead, this offering plays more like one of those 'father-daughter relationship' movies. The father, grumpy and old, is stuck in his ways, spending most of his time grumbling and moaning while watching the game he loves. His daughter, a lawyer, is busy, career driven and resentful. The performances are heartfelt, but sadly the film is a little dull, and ties all the loose ends ever so neatly. No curve balls here, this story is predictable as can be... better picks out there.


The Words - Movie Poster

The Words

2.0 Anne Murphy

A writer at the peak of his literary success discovers the steep price he must pay for stealing another man's work.

"The Words" is a story about a story within a story. With a great cast and the main characters playing authors it's ironic that what this film lacks is script development. Ambitious in scope, it lacks depth and ultimately contains insufficient intrigue to hold interest and it comes across as contrived. There's a melodramatic build to a final twist or surprise, and then the surprise is that there is no surprise; an anti-climax. Writers block?


The Watch - Movie Poster

The Watch

2.0 Andrew O'Dea

Four men who form a neighbourhood watch group as a way to get out of their day-to-day family routines find themselves defending the Earth from an alien invasion.

This is a high-concept, low-brow comedy that simply doesn't work. Sure, the initial shock-value might elicit some laughs, but a lazily written script will ensure that variations of the same vulgar gags will become tiresome and stale. Even some genuinely funny moments from particular leads aren't enough to resurrect a story which is nothing more than an after-thought to a barrage of unoriginal toilet humour. Don't watch "The Watch".


Total Recall - Movie Poster

Total Recall

2.0 Andrew O'Dea

A factory worker begins to suspect that he is a spy after having fake memories planted in his head.

"Total Recall" is an unimaginative, humourless insult to the original sci-fi classic it is based upon. A convoluted script that takes itself way too seriously is only compounded by a host of cheesy one-liners delivered by actors that have neither the charm nor charisma to pull them off. The CGI is excessive and poorly executed, although certain fanboys might be pleased by the 'extra titillation' on offer. The entire movie feels like one continuous chase scene, propelled by a storyline that is nothing more than lame political allegory. If only it was possible not to recall this disaster.


The Campaign - Movie Poster

The Campaign

2.0 Anthony Macali

The world of politician Cam Brady is shaken up with the introduction of a new candidate in district, who challenges his Congress position in an upcoming election.

"The Campaign" lacks any substance or agenda, except to make its supporters laugh. The plot is weak, and the topic is simply a platform for a handful of skits that happen to feature the same two politicians behaving badly for mild amusement. The stretches in-between the jokes are dull, and with nothing on the line, the debate warrants very little interest. Where's the hard-edged commentary or satire? This is a fight that won't sustain the full campaign.


Cosmopolis - Movie Poster

Cosmopolis

2.0 Anne Murphy

Riding across Manhattan in a stretch limo in order to get a haircut, a 28-year-old billionaire asset manager's day devolves into an odyssey with a cast of characters that start to tear his world apart.

The extravagant excesses and the tech-bubble of late last century are the subject "Cosmopolis". Unfortunately this is a stilted, stagey film. Apparently the original dialogue of the book this movie was adapted from has been used, but it gives the production and its monotone soliloquies a wooden feel. Maybe the best conversations will be the discussions provoked after watching the movie while sipping a cosmopolitan.


Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - Movie Poster

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

2.0 Stefan Bugryn

The prolific American President leads a double life as one of history's greatest vampire-hunters.

"Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" is basically an action movie for teenage boys. The bumbling script and rushed back-story means you don't really care for any of the characters or their motives. However, even though it starts off as a no-brains fang-banger, it actually becomes bizarrely interesting watching historical events woven with outrageous fiction. Don't be mistaken, this is mostly a pretty stupid film, but seeing an infamous American president slaying evil spirits against the backdrop of a historically famous era, only just saves it from sucking completely.


Yogawoman - Movie Poster

Yogawoman

2.0 Anne Murphy

Yoga was brought to the west from India by a lineage of male teachers, now there's a generation of women who are leading the way and they're radically changing people's lives.

"Yogawoman" extols the benefits of the practice of yoga and it is a bit like watching a 90 minute infomercial as teacher after teacher talks about the improvements she has gained. The repetitive messages are not followed through with any in depth information about the foundations or philosophy of the art. Watching may confirm the beliefs of practitioners but it may struggle to engage others. Strike out a pose.


The Bad Intentions - Movie Poster

The Bad Intentions

2.0 Anne Murphy

A young girl convinces herself that she will die on the same day that her brother will be born.

A sullen, spoilt, and maladjusted little girl is the central character of "The Bad Intentions", and few 8 year olds could be as unlike-able as this one. Therein lies a problem, as the story is hers, other characters are ancillary to the plot. It's hard to maintain interest in what befalls a child so disinterested in those around her, background political unrest and the privileged social standing of the girl's family providing the only peripheral interest. The intention is dark humour, but not so good.


Elena - Movie Poster

Elena

2.0 Stefan Bugryn

A domestic wife to a rich husband resorts to desperate measures to secure an inheritance for her son.

This is the kind of a movie where you feel like you're always waiting for something to happen. You just hope the ending is worth all the dull, overly drawn out moments you sit through. In short... it's not worth it. The director might call it suspense, but it resonates only as disappointment. There is no real reward for your patience. The cinematography and acting are both sumptuous, but they don't make up for what’s lacking; any true moments of real, hard hitting drama. Ele….Nah!


What to Expect When You're Expecting - Movie Poster

What to Expect When You're Expecting

2.0 Wendy Slevison

A look at love through the eyes of five couples experiencing the thrills and surprises of having a baby.

If you're the type of person who has always found pregnancy funny, then this may just be the film for you! Based on the best-selling 1980's advice book of the same name, this muddled mess struggles to connect with its audience. Too many storylines, too little character development and way too many clichéd jokes make the best thing about this movie the incredibly lifelike, prosthetic pregnant bellies. If this is your thing, great. Otherwise, don't expect much.


Iron Sky - Movie Poster

Iron Sky

2.0 Anthony Macali

The Nazis set up a secret base on the moon in 1945 where they hide out and plan to return to power in 2018.

Venture to the dark side of the moon and you will discover the Nazi's of "Iron Sky". Yes, the film is ridiculous, as the premise might suggest. A war brought to life with cartoonish CGI done on the cheap, which in all honesty, looks quite impressive considering the obvious budget constraints. There are some funny jokes about technology, even a little on politics, but for the most part it's space-junk, including a sleuth of Germans and Americans who are really annoying. B-Grade fanfare.