Chronicle
Stefan Bugryn
Three high school friends gain superpowers after making an incredible discovery.
All the audience needs to know is this movie is nowhere near as cool as it sounds. "Chronicle" might have its moments, like a seriously awesome action scene towards the end, but as for the rest, it simply falls short of being anything really unique. Instead, it will be left to your imagination to fill in the gaps of what it could've been. Sometimes the film is just plain awkward to watch, thanks in no large part to the B-grade scripting, dialogue, special effects, acting... pretty much all of it. Chronicle this one as 'fail'.
A Few Best Men
Anne Murphy
An English groom and his three best men travel to the Australian Blue Mountains for his wedding.
Everything about a "A Few Best Men" is exaggerated. From the central romance to the panoramic Australian scenes, the lure and perils of illicit drugs for the groomsmen to the political ambition of the bride's father, this movie is larger than life and complete with a cast of clichéd characters. As is expected of wedding fairytales there is little semblance to reality. Not that there is anything wrong with cinema escapism, but some will want to escape the cinema rather than watch this celebration of matrimony. Baaa.
J. Edgar
Andrew O'Dea
Director of the FBI for almost 40 years, J.Edgar Hoover was feared and admired, reviled and revered.
This biopic is as unprovocative as it is uninformative. So much of "J Edgar" is dedicated towards an unnecessary focus on the man's battle with his sexuality and unrequited romance that it loses direction. Eventually, it labours towards the end of what is ultimately a dull and turgid affair. Utterly disappointing when you consider the talent of the director and the squandered opportunity to delve into the life of one of the most influential and controversial characters in the history of the United States. Sucks almost as much as the protagonists' vacuous namesake.
Melancholia
Anthony Macali
Two sisters find their relationship challenged as a nearby planet threatens to collide into the Earth.
"Melancholia" starts with a series of hauntingly beautiful apocalyptic visuals, but as you barely survive this slow intro, you soon realise the rest of the film is just an excuse for this showcase. The story is divided into two parts, and both are equally dull, as it follows irritating characters played with admittedly impressive performances. The sisters are distant, ill and grappling with life in the confines of their contemptible lavish setting. Parallels are drawn, and you see why the luminous body in the sky was named so, but you don't care. This planet just won't hurtle towards us fast enough.
New Year's Eve
Tom Jones
The lives of several couples and singles in New York intertwine over the course of New Year's Eve.
Another occasion where 99.9% of the funding is spent on star power and the rest goes to the scriptwriter. Remember show and tell? Well New Years Eve is more tell, without the show. Characters relay so much information about themselves and the situation in every line, but you never actually see anything. It is over the top. The ball dropping at midnight is treated like a military operation complete with presidential style press conferences. When it comes to New Years, hold out for the real thing.
Attack the Block
Anthony Macali
A teen gang in South London defend their block from an alien invasion.
Right, in "Attack the Block" you got these vicious gorilla alien 'tings. They try to merc our crew, fo' real, and it can get quite scary when they use their glow-in-the-dark teeth, 'innit. The lighting is awesome yo', but them characters aren't the best and thankfully don't last long... if you know what I'm saying. The leader of the gang is cool, and believable, but the rest of the film gets too repetitive and not likeable and stuff. Everyone keeps talking like 'tis, you know, and it gets way irritating by the end. No need to check it.
What's Your Number
Anthony Macali
A woman looks back at the past twenty men she's had relationships with in her life and wonders if one of them might be her one true love.
In a story about finding 'the one', "What's Your Number" is concerned about the number of partners you have slept with. The city setting is beautifully shot, and a vast contrast to the crude nature of much of the discussion. The romantic duo at is generally likeable, always walking and eating and conveniently wearing very little. Sadly, their plight is not one you can sympathise with, extending far beyond our span of attention. My number? 2 stars...
Fright Night
Courtney Slevison
A teenager suspects that his new neighbour is a vampire.
The 'teenage vampire flick' has become a cinema epidemic, and "Fright Night" wastes no time in slotting itself right into the sexy/comedy/horror genre. Neither funny nor scary enough to hold its own, this latest addition feels like a clumsy mash-up of movies we have all seen before and is therefore predictable, soulless and unengaging. For some, it may be an enjoyable enough way to spend a couple of hours, but ultimately this one is frightfully forgettable.
Conan the Barbarian
Andrew O'Dea
The tale of Conan the Cimmerian and his adventures across the continent of Hyboria on a quest to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village.
"Conan the Barbarian" is a spectacle without substance. Produced on a large scale, the set design and fight sequences are initially impressive, replete with gruesome, blood-spattering violence. Most disappointing though, is that ultimately the film becomes repetitive and tiresome. Amplified by the lack of any characterisation at all, the audience soon discovers there's no backbone to the bone-crushing... and the most barbaric thing is the fact you have to pay the cost of admission.
Cowboys & Aliens
Anthony Macali
A spaceship arrives in Arizona, 1873, to take over the Earth, starting with the Wild West region.
"Cowboys and Aliens" really is as stupid as the title suggests. What begins promisingly as a well-grounded western with a barely acceptable premise, slowly turns to farcical romp. It seems the 'aliens' are reduced to a basic condiment, simply added as a side dish, or a spice, in an otherwise very bland story. Sure, it's probably the only chance you'll get to see an extraterrestrial get hog-tied, but that's no excuse for a film where the characters and audience share a single plight… as mere victims of gold-digging.
Matchmaking Mayor
Anne Murphy
A generation of singles in their 30s live in a medium-sized Slovak village, and their mayor sets out to bring them together.
Marrying is not everyone's goal and there is some pressure to conform to please families and traditional life. The unmarried locals look quite uncomfortable playing along with the Mayor's plans. This is a documentary filled with glimpses of a lifestyle unfamiliar to city dwellers in our sophisticated on-line world. The audience was tickled throughout by the real life characters, but the filmmaker's style is a little gentle to sustain interest. A long build and no punch-line. Imperfect match.
- Genre » Documentary
- Release » Limited 21 Jul 2011
- Festival » MIFF 2011
Bad Teacher
Wendy Slevison
A foul-mouthed junior high teacher sets her sights on a rich colleague instead.
This is a movie that starts out at full throttle, and from there, finds it hard to maintain momentum. Despite trying so hard to be outrageous with its brazen, juvenile comedy, "Bad Teacher" is ultimately not terribly funny. The jokes are just too obvious; there is no subtlety or nuance. Everything is in your face. The cast, in particular the leading lady, work (too) hard with mediocre material that lacks wit and warmth. You don't care about what happens to these 'teachers' - and you definitely don't want to waste an apple on any of them.
Special Treatment
Anne Murphy
A world-weary psychoanalyst and a classy prostitute both struggle with relationship issues.
The premise for "Special Treatment" is intriguing, but unfortunately the film fails to leverage the plot for comic or dramatic interest. While parallels are sketched between the professions of the two main characters, the outlines drawn are insufficient to sustain audience curiosity, which is not encouraged to deepen into involvement. The supporting cast suffer in undeveloped roles, as clients and friends, they fail to bring enough colour to the screen to be appreciated as eccentric, and subsequently end up looking pitiful. Better treatment required to make this movie special.
- Genre » Drama Comedy
- Release » Limited 07 Jul 2011
- Festival » French Film Festival 2011
The Last Circus
Anne Murphy
Two clowns compete for the love of a beautiful trapeze artist.
"The Last Circus" uses a circus troupe in an allegorical presentation of the horror of the Spanish Civil War. The result is macabre and violent, yet strangely compelling viewing. There's nothing subtle in the telling of the story, it goes right over the top with absurdity, and then it could be argued that the same comic chaos underpins any war. Choosing clowns as the main characters is heavy handed imagery; both the happy clown and the sad clown are grotesque, more than entertaining. This metaphor laden effort is in need of a ring-master.
- Genre » Drama War
- Release » Limited 13 May 2011
- Festival » Spanish Film Festival 2011
Carlos
Anne Murphy
A TV mini-series, chronicling the exploits of Carlos the Jackal, edited and cut for showing as a movie.
Carlos is an interesting figure to discover more about. He comes across as an opportunistic mercenary rather than a terrorist dedicated to a cause, and what's apparent is the ego of a man who considered himself a revolutionary. Part history and part reconstruction, the use of news footage provides a documentary sense of realism. A small screen budget is evident in the uneven set quality, lighting, and the use of a hand held camera; it's all a bit bumpy. Complex politics make surprisingly tedious viewing.
- Genre » Biography History Drama
- Release » Limited 28 Apr 2011
- Festival » French Film Festival 2011