J. Edgar
Andrew O'Dea
Director of the FBI for almost 40 years, J.Edgar Hoover was feared and admired, reviled and revered.
This biopic is as unprovocative as it is uninformative. So much of "J Edgar" is dedicated towards an unnecessary focus on the man's battle with his sexuality and unrequited romance that it loses direction. Eventually, it labours towards the end of what is ultimately a dull and turgid affair. Utterly disappointing when you consider the talent of the director and the squandered opportunity to delve into the life of one of the most influential and controversial characters in the history of the United States. Sucks almost as much as the protagonists' vacuous namesake.
Jumper
Anthony Macali
A genetic anomaly allows a young man to teleport himself anywhere. He discovers this gift has existed for centuries and finds himself in a war that has been raging for thousands of years.
Our young hero entertains when exploiting his gift to rob banks and travel the world. It's unacceptable to spend the entire film showcasing how cool this teleporting is. Whenever our protagonist meets the other characters of the story, the interactions are simply woeful. This film constantly jumps scene to scene skipping any traces of plot or action and leaving a scar of disappointment no person should go through.
Kaboom
Tom Jones
A sci-fi story centered on the sexual awakening of a group of college students.
When imagining how "Kaboom" came about, you get the feeling there was a brainstorming session where any (and every) idea imaginable was put on the table, and the very next day they started filming. As a result, not a lot in this film makes sense; the lead is a gay guy, but he has sex with a woman who he later discovers is his half-sister. This type of nonsense escalates to the point where the audience gives up trying to understand what the hell is going on. Amusing for some, but others will quickly lose interest. Ka...booooooo.
- Genre » Comedy Sci-Fi
- Release » Limited 24 Mar 2011
- Festival » Melbourne Queer Film Festival 2011
Marley & Me
Wendy Slevison
A family learns important life lessons from their adorable, but naughty and neurotic dog.
"Marley and Me" positions itself as a romantic comedy but unfortunately it fails to deliver. With no chemistry between its lead actors, the characters and plot are difficult to engage with, and you find yourself not really caring about the human stars. It's the 22 adorable Labradors who share the role of Marley that are the best part of this movie, and the only laughs come from the innumerable scenes of chewing and destruction. For dog-lovers with lots of patience only.
Matching Jack
Wendy Slevison
A woman struggles with her son's illness and her husband's infidelity.
Watching "Matching Jack" is a bit like spending two hours in the Oncology Ward of a Children's Hospital, and whilst compassionately acknowledging that for many families, this is their dreadful reality, it's pretty tough on the ordinary movie-goer. The film is about sick children, and in spite of a romance and a 'happy' ending, this fact leaves a slight feeling of discomfort - it's too emotionally overworked to be a documentary, but too tragically true to life to be entertaining. Tears will flow, but it just feels a bit too orchestrated... disappointing diagnosis for one of Australia's well-known film-making teams.
Matchmaking Mayor
Anne Murphy
A generation of singles in their 30s live in a medium-sized Slovak village, and their mayor sets out to bring them together.
Marrying is not everyone's goal and there is some pressure to conform to please families and traditional life. The unmarried locals look quite uncomfortable playing along with the Mayor's plans. This is a documentary filled with glimpses of a lifestyle unfamiliar to city dwellers in our sophisticated on-line world. The audience was tickled throughout by the real life characters, but the filmmaker's style is a little gentle to sustain interest. A long build and no punch-line. Imperfect match.
- Genre » Documentary
- Release » Limited 21 Jul 2011
- Festival » MIFF 2011
Melancholia
Anthony Macali
Two sisters find their relationship challenged as a nearby planet threatens to collide into the Earth.
"Melancholia" starts with a series of hauntingly beautiful apocalyptic visuals, but as you barely survive this slow intro, you soon realise the rest of the film is just an excuse for this showcase. The story is divided into two parts, and both are equally dull, as it follows irritating characters played with admittedly impressive performances. The sisters are distant, ill and grappling with life in the confines of their contemptible lavish setting. Parallels are drawn, and you see why the luminous body in the sky was named so, but you don't care. This planet just won't hurtle towards us fast enough.
My Bloody Valentine
Courtney Slevison
A decade after the notorious Valentine's Day massacre, Tom returns to his quaint hometown only to find that a string of similar murders has started up.
A remake of the 1981 movie of the same name, "My Bloody Valentine" suffers from a serious case of been there, done that. The film is basically a string of clichéd horror scenarios strung together by a weak and confusing plot. The characters are stiff and unlikeable, making it hard to care when they get hacked to pieces by the revenge-seeking serial killer. While aspiring to be a classic retro slasher flick, this movie struggles to be anything but a waste of time.
My Life in Ruins
Wendy Slevison
A travel guide rediscovers her romantic side when she takes a tour group on a trip around Greece.
"My Life in Ruins" is a flamboyant, sugar-sweet romantic comedy set along the tourist trail of Greece and it's islands. With its one-dimensional leading lady and characters so stereotyped they are virtually caricature, this cloyingly sentimental movie is only moderately enjoyable. As it takes you on its plodding and predictable bus ride towards 'true love', the film's spectacular scenery overwhelms the naive and formulaic plot. For something syrupy and Greek, I would recommend a piece of Baklava instead.
- Genre » Comedy
- Festival » Greek Film Festival 2009
New Year's Eve
Tom Jones
The lives of several couples and singles in New York intertwine over the course of New Year's Eve.
Another occasion where 99.9% of the funding is spent on star power and the rest goes to the scriptwriter. Remember show and tell? Well New Years Eve is more tell, without the show. Characters relay so much information about themselves and the situation in every line, but you never actually see anything. It is over the top. The ball dropping at midnight is treated like a military operation complete with presidential style press conferences. When it comes to New Years, hold out for the real thing.
Night at the Museum 2
Andrew O'Dea
Security guard Larry Daley infiltrates the Smithsonian Institute in order to rescue his old friends.
"Night at the Museum 2" is an unfunny, unimaginative story devoid of any of the creativity and charm of its predecessor. Outstanding visuals are buried beneath a sprawling mess of a screenplay, as a mish-mash of gimmicky characters spend the entire movie running, babbling and slapping their way through what is a blatant recipe for dollars. Most annoying is a host of underdeveloped historical figures making wise-cracks that adults simply won't find funny, and children won't even be able to relate to. This exhibit deserves to be shut-down permanently.
Observe and Report
Anthony Macali
Bi-polar mall security guard Ronnie Barnhardt is called into action to stop a flasher from turning shopper's paradise into his personal peep show.
"Observe and Report" is a terribly misjudged comedy. Ronnie, our 'hero', is a guy you don't like, don't care about, and don't find funny. It's a simple formula for failure, made worse by poor behaviour and excessive swearing, cheap tools for laughter. Some scenes are so misconceived, they border on surrealism. It's a disappointing effort from a cast who should know better. Protect yourself and don't watch this.
Paranormal Activity 2
Tom Jones
After experiencing what they think is a "break-in", a family sets up security cameras around their home, only to realize that the events unfolding before them are more sinister than they seem.
Mum's possessed by the devil! Quick, get the handy-cam! The ridiculousness of this film is matched only by the ludicrousness of the haunting inflicted upon the family home. Though there are moments where you may jump in your seat, you are more likely to laugh at this depiction of the unreal and at the actors, who try a bit too hard to appear like your typical family. Yet another sequel to add to the list of those that don't live up to the original.
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Anthony Macali
The pirate lords of the world must unite to defend themselves against the East Indian Trading Company. This includes Captain Jack Sparrow, who must be retrieved from Davey Jones' Locker.
"Pirates" is long voyage of excruciating proportions that will leave you befuddled and confused. Don't worry if you don't understand any of it, as the monkey will do something funny after each key plot point is revealed to relieve you of the frustration of trying to comprehend the story. The director struggles to garner any credible performances from the crew, favouring computer action sequences over coherence. This movie sinks.
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Anthony Macali
Based on the video game, which follows an adventurous prince who teams up with a rival princess to stop an angry ruler from unleashing a sandstorm that could destroy the world.
"Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time" is another disappointing game adaptation with an underwhelming story and clunky CGI. The action is good but the editing is brash, and its over-reliance on special effects is a curse, despite the brief moments it's actually of valuable consequence. Naturally there are nods to its origins, but they didn't need to bring back the two-dimensional characters. The hourglass just doesn't run out quick enough on this one.