Welcome to Farewell-Gutmann
Anne Murphy
The Human Resources Department of the pharmaceutical company 'Farewell-Gutmann' has lost its director; his underlings all vying for the job.
This is a dark and sadistic view of corporate life in an HR department. The film is as visually drab and colourless as the executives seeking promotion. The vain, ruthless, and broken characters offer little to engage with as they humiliate one another - the hypocrisy of the slippery slope to the top doled out with a heavy hand. Lacking the essential dexterity of a good black comedy, few will be sorry to say 'adios' to "Farewell-Gutmann".
- Genre » Comedy
- Festival » Festival of German Films 2009
The Holiday
Anthony Macali
Two women, both with men issues, go on holiday for two weeks by swapping. This can only lead to love.
A romantic comedy with characters you are entirely unsympathetic for. It wouldn't even classify as a comedy, as the over-the-top antics on display are not lovable, only annoying. It wouldn't even classify as a romance, as the contrivances that bring the leads together leave little work for them to impress each other. This movie is simply stupid and it hurt watching it.
The Happening
Luke Bartter
When large amounts of people start inexplicably committing suicide in America, panic ensues.
The real disappointment about this movie stems from it's obvious lack of quality throughout. Other than a few intense scenes, it's dull and long-winded, so your curiosity runs out regardless of the unusual phenomenon. When you stop caring about the 'why' or even what happens to the characters, watching feels like a task. Tedious and lifeless, the most mysterious thing is how "The Happening" managed to get made into a feature film.
The Final Destination
Courtney Slevison
After a teen's premonition of a deadly race-car crash helps saves the lives of his peers, Death sets out to collect those who evaded their end.
Grisly, gory death now comes at us in 3D, yet nothing exciting or fresh is added to the genre. The plot is crazy, convoluted and makes little attempt to be original. This completely unnecessary addition to the franchise takes it to ridiculous new lows, such as death by car wash. Yes, really. Let's just hope they mean it when they say 'final'.
The Dilemma
Anne Murphy
A man discovers that his best friend's wife is having an affair.
"The Dilemma" is a window into the phallocentric world of a couple of blokey blokes, and it might have been best to keep the blinds down. In a series of poorly edited improvisations, naif blockheads blunder around trying to bump into a joke. Serious themes are underdeveloped and presented with a whacky, zany tempo that leaves the effort uncomfortably mired in primitivism. It's disappointing given the plot opportunities to explore infidelity, depression, relationship, addictions, commitment and more. Insight or parody? No dilemma here mate, it's all ham.
The Devil Inside
Wendy Slevison
In Italy, a woman becomes involved in a series of unauthorized exorcisms.
This movie follows the lead of others in its genre by using the found-footage, hand-held camera, mockumentary style of filming. The problem is we've see it all before. Despite strong attempts at realism, including using a highly talented contortionist for the possession scenes, and interviews with real specialists discussing exorcism to add credibility to the fact/fiction pitch, the film is disappointingly clichéd and time-worn. Worst of all, though, it's just not scary! And as for the ending, what the devil were they thinking?
The Death of Mr. Lazarescu
Andrew O'Dea
Follows the title character as he is passed on from hospital to hospital waiting for dire attention.
As the health of Mr. Lazarescu deteriorates then fails, so does this film. If the intention was to force the audience to associate with (and endure) Mr. Lazarescu's suffering, then it is a resonating success. The shaky handheld camerawork becomes nauseating, and the drawn out length nearly bores us to death. You can't help finding yourself willing his demise to come sooner, not to end his agony, but your own. Such is the lack of empathy created by unstirring, stagnant scenes. Avoid like the plague.
StreetDance 2
Wendy Slevison
After suffering humiliation by the crew Invincible, a street dancer looks to gather the best dancers from around the world for a rematch.
If the numbers in the title of this film cause a little uncertainty, listen to that feeling, and save your money. Actually, to call this a "film" is being quite generous - it's really just a succession of dance sequences. The dancing is very good, but that's it. The plodding, formulaic plot is like an afterthought, and the dancers are appalling actors anyway. Cheap, clumsy 3D effects do nothing to enhance what is essentially a rehash of all the other dance movies of recent times. Sit this one out.
Soula Ela Xana
Anne Murphy
A teacher on the Greek island of Spetses receives four offers of marriage on her 30th birthday.
This cheeky Greek pantomime style comedy is like fairy floss for the audience; pretty, sweet and insubstantial fare. The characters romp around in an overly theatrical style that is faintly amusing and only mildly entertaining. It's certainly no aphrodisiac, and from the misleading title to the predictable ending the on-screen antics fail to excite the viewer. As a cinematic experience you are left hoping there is something better than S.E.X.
- Genre » Comedy Romance
- Festival » Greek Film Festival 2009
Something Borrowed
Tom Jones
Friendships are tested and secrets come to the surface when terminally single Rachel falls for Dex, her best friend Darcy's fiancé.
If any actor is quoted saying it was the 'great script', which attracted them to this film, they are lying. Sure the movie promotes itself as a romantic comedy, but it fails in both genres. Every time there are glimpses of comedy, the script turns it on its head and it all becomes really deep. You almost feel sorry for the actors who try their best to make lemonade out of lemons. "Something Borrowed" will borrow your time and never give it back.
Skyline
Tom Jones
Strange lights descend on the city of Los Angeles, drawing people outside like moths to a flame where an extraterrestrial force threatens to swallow the entire human population off the face of the Earth.
Skyline would have to be in the running for the worst film of the year. From the first scene, where one character mistakes blue UFO light seeping through her blinds for the morning sun, you get the sense that this film is going to insult your intelligence and rest assured, it doesn't disappoint. The acting is on par with the acting you'd expect from an 'adult' film and the special effects are daft. Skyline is money better saved.
Romulus, My Father
Luke Bartter
It tells the story of Romulus, his beautiful wife, Christina, and their struggle in the face of great adversity to bring up their son, Raimond.
This film is turgid and slow, full of uninteresting, 'poignant' scenes that seem to exist only to make the most of the lengthy running time. The characters suffer through their lives, and the audience suffers too, not in empathy, but in boredom. It's understandable that the target audience might be those who adore Australian independent films about the human condition, but in any case most will find it dull and uninspiring. Best avoided.
Paper Soldier
Anne Murphy
A Soviet medical officer is conflicted about his position overseeing the health of future cosmonauts.
Perhaps it was the Russian storytelling style, or the poor subtitles, but this film was mostly unintelligible; as inaccessible as the vast barren plains on which it was set. The problem may have been situational - something to do with the futility of training cosmonauts in a desolate sodden Kazakhstan campsite. Was that the point this surreal viewing experience, complete with camels, was making? If the space race was anything like this, it must have been incomprehensible and doomed for gloom.
Nine
Wendy Slevison
Famous film director Guido Contini struggles both professionally and personally, as he engages in dramatic relationships with his wife, mistress, muse, agent, and (dead) mother.
This film, for all its pedigree, including an astonishing array of talent and a highly successful director, is a flop. A tedious and uninspiring melange of boring songs, superfluous characters, and very little narrative, it's a rare miscalculation in the career of the leading man, and a blot on the resumes of everyone else involved. Who convinced these people they could sing? Let 'nine' be the number of minutes it takes you to decide on which other movie you'll go and see instead of this debacle.
Little Fockers
Anne Murphy
Family-patriarch Jack Byrnes wants to appoint a successor.
The third installment of a movie franchise is unlikely to attract new viewers and seasoned fans of this series will know what they're in for. Be warned, "Meet the Fockers" fails to deliver to the standard of the earlier releases. This one is a fumbling montage of cheap gags delivered by actors you can only wish had something better to do - even the endless plays on the 'F' word are wearing thin. Cinema goers deserve better. It's time for audiences to ask, "What the Fock?".