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Bad Teacher
Wendy Slevison
A foul-mouthed junior high teacher sets her sights on a rich colleague instead.
This is a movie that starts out at full throttle, and from there, finds it hard to maintain momentum. Despite trying so hard to be outrageous with its brazen, juvenile comedy, "Bad Teacher" is ultimately not terribly funny. The jokes are just too obvious; there is no subtlety or nuance. Everything is in your face. The cast, in particular the leading lady, work (too) hard with mediocre material that lacks wit and warmth. You don't care about what happens to these 'teachers' - and you definitely don't want to waste an apple on any of them.
Fright Night
Courtney Slevison
A teenager suspects that his new neighbour is a vampire.
The 'teenage vampire flick' has become a cinema epidemic, and "Fright Night" wastes no time in slotting itself right into the sexy/comedy/horror genre. Neither funny nor scary enough to hold its own, this latest addition feels like a clumsy mash-up of movies we have all seen before and is therefore predictable, soulless and unengaging. For some, it may be an enjoyable enough way to spend a couple of hours, but ultimately this one is frightfully forgettable.
Imagine That
Anne Murphy
A financial executive who can't stop his career downspiral is invited into his daughter's imaginary world, where solutions to his problems await.
"Imagine That" is a confused family offering, where on one hand the setting is an industry probably incomprehensible to children, and on the other is humour that is juvenile, unlikely to amuse older audience members. Mediocre on many fronts, yet incredible too, as no special effects are used in a film where an imaginary world is a major plot feature. Some movies made for the big screen go straight to a DVD release, imagine that.
Wanted
Anthony Macali
A frustrated office worker learns that he is the son of a professional assassin, and that he shares his father's superhuman killing abilities.
The major problem with "Wanted" is that it's really stupid. It requires an absolute suspension of belief, as we're supposed to believe "looms of fate" can prove fatal. Story aside, some of the sequences are decent in their slow-mo gun-toting CGI kind of way. If the film didn't take itself so seriously, the setup would not be completely ridiculous. Over-the-top choreographed action cannot save it from a predictable plot and a fraternity of two-dimensional characters.
Hall Pass
Andrew O'Dea
A married man is granted the opportunity to have an affair by his wife. Joined in the fun by his best pal, things get a little out of control when both wives start engaging in extramarital activities as well.
"Hall Pass" is a hit-and-miss comedy that provides some genuinely hilarious moments. The problem is, outrageous will only get you so far, and when you rely so heavily on repeated shock value to sustain a film, it loses value and becomes predictable. It's disappointing that the directors don't deliver on what could've potentially been a seriously funny escapade, given the subject matter. Not even close to a pass mark.
Twilight
Andrew O'Dea
A teenage girl risks everything when she falls in love with a vampire.
"Twilight" is in essence a thinly veiled melodrama. The bulk of the film constitutes parading an endless procession of our star-crossed lovers staring longingly at each other, which achieves nothing but to reduce it to a lumbering bore. It feels like filler to a paper-thin plot, glaringly prevalent when crucial story revelations are uncovered simply by using an online search engine. An overwhelming sense of the anemic is coupled with dialogue that is as bland and as pale as the vampires' ridiculous skin. Appropriately put, this movie sucks.
TMNT
Anthony Macali
Four turtle brothers, mutated from toxic ooze and master ninjas, must work together and battle an ancient mysterious evil to save the world.
When you're young, turtles are the ultimate pets, ninja is cool and pizza is your favourite food. I still enjoy pizza, but I also enjoyed the rubber suits from the old "TMNT" movies. Replaced with CGI, the new "TMNT" is targeted at a much younger audience. The story is a bit silly, but sweet nun-chuck skills and a happy ending will be a lot of fun for kids. It needs to make more funny's to be totally bodacious.
The Box
Anthony Macali
A small wooden box arrives on the doorstep of a married couple, who know that opening it will grant them a million dollars and kill someone they don't know.
Based on a short-story, this creepy film doesn't live up to its promising premise. A lot of weird stuff happens - blood noses, gateways, lightening and other unintentionally funny moments of suspense. The score is atmospheric, performances solid, but intriguing questions of morality are lost in the frustratingly ponderous revelations. The lesson here is to stay at home in your box, perhaps watch the box, and avoid the confusion that is "The Box".
Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Anthony Macali
The Fantastic Four learn that they aren't the only super-powered beings in the universe when they square off against the powerful Silver Surfer and the planet-eating Galactus.
The Fantastic Four have become a group of scientists without any chemistry. We don't see enough of our beloved Silver Surfer. If only the producers gathered even more conspicuous product placement, they could have extended his stay. Overshadowed by the Surfer, Reed and Sue's relationship is not interesting. The innocuous jokes that sustained the first film are all gone, and all we are left is another sequel that is high in special effects, and nothing else special.
Inkheart
Andrew O'Dea
A young girl discovers her father has an amazing talent to bring characters out of their books and must try to stop a freed villain from destroying them all, with the help of her father and a storybook's hero.
"Inkheart" simply lacks the creativity to be anything but another tired endeavor at a 'book-to-big screen' adaptation. The result is an unconvincing and gimmicky film, full of clichés and characters severely devoid of any depth. It fails miserably in its attempted (and not so subtlety implied) homage to the great stories of history, as it tediously waddles from scene to scene with all the imagination of an inkblot. Stay home and read a book instead.
Ghost Town
Andrew O'Dea
When Pincus dies unexpectedly, but is miraculously revived, he wakes up to discover that he now has the annoying ability to see ghosts.
Simply put, this movie is a 'rom-com' that is neither romantic, nor funny. It utterly fails to deliver on the potential of its premise, instead delivering a plot that feels all too scripted and formulaic. As it labors along in an unimaginative state, you can't help but be frustrated by comedic talent that is severely underutilized. A completely transparent attempt at a comedy, "Ghost Town" is hauntingly bad.
Salt
Andrew O'Dea
A CIA agent goes on the run after a defector accuses her of being a Russian spy.
"Salt" manages to be as unoriginal as it is uninteresting; a bona fide recipe for a dissatisfying movie. A host of irrelevant scenes basically serve as filler to a myriad of unimaginative action sequences that lack any real vigour - and achieve nothing but to create a sense of going through the motions. It also fails to engage on any sort of intellectual level, even though the absurd yet predictable political sub-plot clearly aspired to. Although admirable performances from the cast do their part to spice up an otherwise dull story, after a serving of this film you won't feel anything but malnourished.
What's Your Number
Anthony Macali
A woman looks back at the past twenty men she's had relationships with in her life and wonders if one of them might be her one true love.
In a story about finding 'the one', "What's Your Number" is concerned about the number of partners you have slept with. The city setting is beautifully shot, and a vast contrast to the crude nature of much of the discussion. The romantic duo at is generally likeable, always walking and eating and conveniently wearing very little. Sadly, their plight is not one you can sympathise with, extending far beyond our span of attention. My number? 2 stars...
The Green Hornet
Anthony Macali
Following the death of his father, Britt Reid, heir to his father's large company, teams up with his late dad's assistant Kato to become a masked crime fighting team.
"The Green Hornet" tries to be cool, tries to be awesome... and fails dismally on both accounts. Our hero duo are completely uninspiring, and the film's meager amount of laughs are drawn from nothing but their bitterful banter and marvellings at high-tech creations with self-indulged clamour. The action scenes do their job, and there is an interesting sub-plot of media politics, but it arrives far too late in the piece for salvation. It sting's, it hurts, and has been done much better before.
Chronicle
Stefan Bugryn
Three high school friends gain superpowers after making an incredible discovery.
All the audience needs to know is this movie is nowhere near as cool as it sounds. "Chronicle" might have its moments, like a seriously awesome action scene towards the end, but as for the rest, it simply falls short of being anything really unique. Instead, it will be left to your imagination to fill in the gaps of what it could've been. Sometimes the film is just plain awkward to watch, thanks in no large part to the B-grade scripting, dialogue, special effects, acting... pretty much all of it. Chronicle this one as 'fail'.