The Last Airbender - Movie Poster

The Last Airbender

2.0 Andrew O'Dea

The story follows the adventures of Aang, a young successor to a long line of Avatars, who must put his childhood ways aside and stop the Fire Nation from enslaving the Water, Earth and Air nations.

"The Last Airbender" is capable in that its 3D medium manages to enhance rather than to 'point' out its special effects are fairly impressive. Unfortunately, the positives stop there, as the relative success of its visuals simply don't correlate to a script which fails dismally in its translation to the big screen. The film's myriad of problems are only burdened further by stilted dialogue and a truly lacklustre finale that disparagingly promises this won't be the last we see of 'airbending' any time soon.


The Hangover Part III - Movie Poster

The Hangover Part III

2.0 Andrew O'Dea

There's no wedding and no bachelor party... but when the Wolfpack hits the road, all bets are off.

"The Hangover Part III" is a victim of its own success. Still running on the fumes of the hugely popular first installment, this outing is nothing more than a shameless cash-grab, where the only real debauchery involved is its mere production. What sort of 'hangover' movie doesn't even have a hangover? While there are some rare and isolated moments of hilarity, what lies in-between is nothing but a desert bereft of comedy or thrills – where any laughter is contrived and strained at best. What happened in Vegas should've stayed in Vegas.


Iron Sky - Movie Poster

Iron Sky

2.0 Anthony Macali

The Nazis set up a secret base on the moon in 1945 where they hide out and plan to return to power in 2018.

Venture to the dark side of the moon and you will discover the Nazi's of "Iron Sky". Yes, the film is ridiculous, as the premise might suggest. A war brought to life with cartoonish CGI done on the cheap, which in all honesty, looks quite impressive considering the obvious budget constraints. There are some funny jokes about technology, even a little on politics, but for the most part it's space-junk, including a sleuth of Germans and Americans who are really annoying. B-Grade fanfare.


The Green Hornet - Movie Poster

The Green Hornet

2.0 Anthony Macali

Following the death of his father, Britt Reid, heir to his father's large company, teams up with his late dad's assistant Kato to become a masked crime fighting team.

"The Green Hornet" tries to be cool, tries to be awesome... and fails dismally on both accounts. Our hero duo are completely uninspiring, and the film's meager amount of laughs are drawn from nothing but their bitterful banter and marvellings at high-tech creations with self-indulged clamour. The action scenes do their job, and there is an interesting sub-plot of media politics, but it arrives far too late in the piece for salvation. It sting's, it hurts, and has been done much better before.


Night at the Museum 2 - Movie Poster

Night at the Museum 2

2.0 Andrew O'Dea

Security guard Larry Daley infiltrates the Smithsonian Institute in order to rescue his old friends.

"Night at the Museum 2" is an unfunny, unimaginative story devoid of any of the creativity and charm of its predecessor. Outstanding visuals are buried beneath a sprawling mess of a screenplay, as a mish-mash of gimmicky characters spend the entire movie running, babbling and slapping their way through what is a blatant recipe for dollars. Most annoying is a host of underdeveloped historical figures making wise-cracks that adults simply won't find funny, and children won't even be able to relate to. This exhibit deserves to be shut-down permanently.


The Bucket List - Movie Poster

The Bucket List

2.0 Anthony Macali

Two terminally ill men escape from a cancer ward and head off on a road trip with a wish list of to-dos before they die.

The problem about these two men, apart from their uninspired performances, is the fact we don't care if they pass away or not. Their ambitions are more comparable to household chores, as they trudge along each adventure in vapid fashion. The whole act is a little too cheesy, corny, and convenient for my liking. Better suited for a TV midday movie, this film should not be on your list.


Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue - Movie Poster

Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue

2.0 Anne Murphy

Tinker Bell must team up with a rival fairy to keep their existence a secret from humans.

"Tinker Bell and the Great Fairy Rescue" assumes the target audience is unsophisticated. The tale lacks depth and interest, and the same can be said of the simple animation. It's hard to forgive this production for being so unimaginative. Also disquieting is the subtle stereotyping, not excused by knowing that the audience may not notice. Males come off second best and it's noted that the overweight one is dopey to boot. Cute, unremarkable fare with a run-of-the-mill storyline, it's the audience not the fairies who will need rescuing.


Marley & Me - Movie Poster

Marley & Me

2.0 Wendy Slevison

A family learns important life lessons from their adorable, but naughty and neurotic dog.

"Marley and Me" positions itself as a romantic comedy but unfortunately it fails to deliver. With no chemistry between its lead actors, the characters and plot are difficult to engage with, and you find yourself not really caring about the human stars. It's the 22 adorable Labradors who share the role of Marley that are the best part of this movie, and the only laughs come from the innumerable scenes of chewing and destruction. For dog-lovers with lots of patience only.


A Few Best Men - Movie Poster

A Few Best Men

2.0 Anne Murphy

An English groom and his three best men travel to the Australian Blue Mountains for his wedding.

Everything about a "A Few Best Men" is exaggerated. From the central romance to the panoramic Australian scenes, the lure and perils of illicit drugs for the groomsmen to the political ambition of the bride's father, this movie is larger than life and complete with a cast of clichéd characters. As is expected of wedding fairytales there is little semblance to reality. Not that there is anything wrong with cinema escapism, but some will want to escape the cinema rather than watch this celebration of matrimony. Baaa.


Into the Woods - Movie Poster

Into the Woods

2.0 Anne Murphy

A witch conspires to teach important lessons to various characters of popular children's stories including Little Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, Jack and the Beanstalk and Rapunzel.

Though the musical score is enchanting and performances from the cast magical, "Into the Woods" doesn't deliver. We venture out with plenty of charm, colour, and costumes, but somewhere before halfway the story is lost. The glamour of the production doesn't compensate for an overly long and muddled plot. Sad but true that we can't see the woods for the trees in this confused offering. Get outta there.


My Bloody Valentine - Movie Poster

My Bloody Valentine

2.0 Courtney Slevison

A decade after the notorious Valentine's Day massacre, Tom returns to his quaint hometown only to find that a string of similar murders has started up.

A remake of the 1981 movie of the same name, "My Bloody Valentine" suffers from a serious case of been there, done that. The film is basically a string of clichéd horror scenarios strung together by a weak and confusing plot. The characters are stiff and unlikeable, making it hard to care when they get hacked to pieces by the revenge-seeking serial killer. While aspiring to be a classic retro slasher flick, this movie struggles to be anything but a waste of time.


Rush Hour 3 - Movie Poster

Rush Hour 3

2.0 Anthony Macali

After an attempted assassination on Ambassador Han, Lee and Carter head to Paris to protect a French woman with knowledge of the Triads' secret leaders.

"Rush Hour 3" is a comedy riddled with contrivances. Before the franchise can sink any lower, our first genuine laugh arrives in the sewer. It's the last laugh to come till the finalé, in which an over-computer-generated sequence of fights and thrills on the Eiffel Tower are less than spectacular. You will find the outtakes the most enjoyable part, and they're not even in the movie! Don't rush to see this one.


Yogi Bear - Movie Poster

Yogi Bear

2.0 Wendy Slevison

A filmmaker travels to Jellystone Park to shoot a project and soon crosses paths with Yogi Bear, his sidekick Boo-Boo, and Ranger Smith.

"Yogi Bear" is a clumsy and uninspired mix of animation and live action that rolls out a tired old story line while trying to impart an environmental message. Ho hum…The animation of the bears is quite nicely done, but it's not enough to make this film 'bearable' for anyone over five. Given that Yogi is "smarter than the average bear", he may be a little insulted at this version of his life.


Observe and Report - Movie Poster

Observe and Report

2.0 Anthony Macali

Bi-polar mall security guard Ronnie Barnhardt is called into action to stop a flasher from turning shopper's paradise into his personal peep show.

"Observe and Report" is a terribly misjudged comedy. Ronnie, our 'hero', is a guy you don't like, don't care about, and don't find funny. It's a simple formula for failure, made worse by poor behaviour and excessive swearing, cheap tools for laughter. Some scenes are so misconceived, they border on surrealism. It's a disappointing effort from a cast who should know better. Protect yourself and don't watch this.


Side Effects - Movie Poster

Side Effects

2.0 Anne Murphy

A woman's world unravels when a drug prescribed by her psychiatrist has unexpected side effects.

Much like its characters, "Side Effects" is never in touch with reality, not that realism, per se, is necessary for a good movie. The misrepresentation of mental health problems and treatment is a little unforgivable though; an already marginalised population may be further stigmatised, and that's not entertainment. There are lots of twists and turns that build intrigue but somehow the story manages to become more preposterous with each plot revelation, and the suspension of disbelief is necessary for viewing enjoyment. Pharma meets psychodrama.


Conan the Barbarian - Movie Poster

Conan the Barbarian

2.0 Andrew O'Dea

The tale of Conan the Cimmerian and his adventures across the continent of Hyboria on a quest to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village.

"Conan the Barbarian" is a spectacle without substance. Produced on a large scale, the set design and fight sequences are initially impressive, replete with gruesome, blood-spattering violence. Most disappointing though, is that ultimately the film becomes repetitive and tiresome. Amplified by the lack of any characterisation at all, the audience soon discovers there's no backbone to the bone-crushing... and the most barbaric thing is the fact you have to pay the cost of admission.


The Time Traveller's Wife - Movie Poster

The Time Traveller's Wife

1.5 Anne Murphy

A romantic drama about a Chicago librarian with a gene that causes him to involuntarily time travel, and the complications it creates for his marriage.

"The Time Traveller's Wife" has an imaginative storyline centred on an incredible romance that transcends time. Something must have gone wrong in production, as the telling of this tale is unforgivably banal. This movie is such a drag viewers will find themselves wishing for an ability to time travel beyond the credits to escape the tedium. With no on-screen chemistry it's hard to even care about the time traveller's wife's husband or his wife.


Dumb and Dumber To - Movie Poster

Dumb and Dumber To

1.5 Anthony Macali

20 years since their first adventure, Lloyd and Harry go on a road trip to find Harry's newly discovered daughter.

"Dumb and Dumber To" is one of those sequels that sadly sours your experience of watching the first instalment. Revisiting the characters 20 years on was always a dangerous proposition, and this agonising journey does very little to validate the idea. A large number of the jokes are mere imitations of their first incarnations, and anything else that is somewhat original is generally pretty poor. For most part, the film trudges along before grinding to an inevitable halt. Just dumb.


Fighting - Movie Poster

Fighting

1.5 Andrew O'Dea

In New York City, a young counterfeiter is introduced to the world of street fighting.

"Fighting" is yet another 'underground' brawling pic that packs little punch. Don't be mislead by the title, as this movie plays more like an unconvincing character study interrupted by the odd fist-fight. Weighed down by a seriously sluggish plot, it drags on from scene to scene, evoking little feeling except making you want to throw in the towel. Brutal, bone-crunching fights are laughable, leaving the mumbling pretty-boy-lead with nothing but a few scratches on his chin. Pay the price for admission and you're in for one nasty sucker-punch.


Passengers - Movie Poster

Passengers

1.5 Andrew O'Dea

A grief counselor working with a group of plane-crash survivors finds herself at the root of a mystery when her clients begin to disappear.

"Passengers" is a horrible drama that fails dismally in its feeble attempt to pose as a thriller. Everything about the movie is decidedly uneventful, accentuated by sluggish pacing and an unremarkable script. The gloomy camerawork throughout succeeds only in making the vapid plot seem monotonous; the only respite coming when it inevitably crashes and burns in a dissatisfying twist-ending. If you pay to go watch this film, you will have been taken for a ride.


In the Heart of the Sea - Movie Poster

In the Heart of the Sea

1.5 Anthony Macali

Inspired by Moby Dick, a ship is stranded at sea after its hunt for whale oil turns sour after a confrontation with a giant sperm whale.

Being stranded at sea is a terrible experience; hungry and trapped with no end in sight. It's an ordeal similar to watching this film, so make sure you bring popcorn to stave off the hunger. "In the Heart of the Sea" stinks, and no amount of computer-generated whales and their blow-holes were going to save this ship from sinking. The story is so boring and uninvolved that you just don't care; about any of the characters, or their fate. Stay clear of this storm. Disaster of the sea.


G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Movie Poster

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

1.5 Courtney Slevison

An elite military unit comprised of special operatives known as G.I. Joe, takes on an evil organization led by a notorious arms dealer.

In an already crowded genre, it takes a lot for a sci-fi action flick to stand out. It requires clever script-writing, restraint in the special effects department and quality acting. This film has none of those elements, and is therefore a forgettable, mediocre experience. The dialogue is so bad it's hard to sit through, and is punctuated every 10 minutes by an action sequence so over-produced it seems cartoon-ish. For die-hard actions fans only!


Push - Movie Poster

Push

1.5 Andrew O'Dea

Two young Americans with special abilities must race to find a girl in Hong Kong before a shadowy government organization called Division does.

"Push" is a forgettable addition to the 'superheroes' genre. The only superpower present here is the uncanny ability to teleport from one completely inane plot hole to another. The storyline is as boring as it is confusing, exacerbated by flimsy handheld camerawork and an unflattering visual style. Even the ostentatious action sequences end up looking like nothing more than sci-fi muddle. When push comes to shove, this film falls flat on its face.


The Unborn - Movie Poster

The Unborn

1.5 Courtney Slevison

A young woman fights the spirit that is slowly taking possession of her.

While this film succeeds in providing some moments of suspense and the odd fright, the shocks are cheap and the story is completely unoriginal. The director has relied on gory effects to scare the punters, instead of good old fashioned story-telling. When there are some true masterpieces in the horror genre, sloppy films like this just seem like a waste of time. See something else.


Shrek the Third - Movie Poster

Shrek the Third

1.5 Luke Bartter

When his new father-in-law, King Harold falls ill, Shrek is looked to as the heir of the land Far, Far Away.

The story is thin, but this is usually overcome by providing enough solid laughs. Lacking the emotional pull of the first film and the thrilling finale of the second, the third film just languishes in its ordinariness. Another problem is that despite introducing several new characters, the films few laughs come when Donkey and Puss in Boots are on screen, and when they're not present it just feels flat. "Shrek The Third" is strictly for the fans and is medi-ogre at best. Heh.