Killer Elite - Movie Poster

Killer Elite

2.0 Andrew O'Dea

When his mentor is taken captive, a retired member of Britain's Elite Special Air Service is forced into action. His mission: kill three assassins dispatched by their cunning leader.

Shot in a gritty visual style, "Killer Elite" simply lacks the flair to separate it from the rest of the paint-by-numbers action flicks. There are definitely pockets of impressive, adrenaline-fueled action sequences and stunts, yet as the plot unfolds and the body count rises, the audience will find themselves misguided by a storyline that is over-complicated. This isn't helped by the wooden leading man and a supporting cast who should've simply done better. All killer, no filler.


Wanted - Movie Poster

Wanted

2.0 Anthony Macali

A frustrated office worker learns that he is the son of a professional assassin, and that he shares his father's superhuman killing abilities.

The major problem with "Wanted" is that it's really stupid. It requires an absolute suspension of belief, as we're supposed to believe "looms of fate" can prove fatal. Story aside, some of the sequences are decent in their slow-mo gun-toting CGI kind of way. If the film didn't take itself so seriously, the setup would not be completely ridiculous. Over-the-top choreographed action cannot save it from a predictable plot and a fraternity of two-dimensional characters.


Yogi Bear - Movie Poster

Yogi Bear

2.0 Wendy Slevison

A filmmaker travels to Jellystone Park to shoot a project and soon crosses paths with Yogi Bear, his sidekick Boo-Boo, and Ranger Smith.

"Yogi Bear" is a clumsy and uninspired mix of animation and live action that rolls out a tired old story line while trying to impart an environmental message. Ho hum…The animation of the bears is quite nicely done, but it's not enough to make this film 'bearable' for anyone over five. Given that Yogi is "smarter than the average bear", he may be a little insulted at this version of his life.


Inkheart - Movie Poster

Inkheart

2.0 Andrew O'Dea

A young girl discovers her father has an amazing talent to bring characters out of their books and must try to stop a freed villain from destroying them all, with the help of her father and a storybook's hero.

"Inkheart" simply lacks the creativity to be anything but another tired endeavor at a 'book-to-big screen' adaptation. The result is an unconvincing and gimmicky film, full of clichés and characters severely devoid of any depth. It fails miserably in its attempted (and not so subtlety implied) homage to the great stories of history, as it tediously waddles from scene to scene with all the imagination of an inkblot. Stay home and read a book instead.


Twilight - Movie Poster

Twilight

2.0 Andrew O'Dea

A teenage girl risks everything when she falls in love with a vampire.

"Twilight" is in essence a thinly veiled melodrama. The bulk of the film constitutes parading an endless procession of our star-crossed lovers staring longingly at each other, which achieves nothing but to reduce it to a lumbering bore. It feels like filler to a paper-thin plot, glaringly prevalent when crucial story revelations are uncovered simply by using an online search engine. An overwhelming sense of the anemic is coupled with dialogue that is as bland and as pale as the vampires' ridiculous skin. Appropriately put, this movie sucks.


We're the Millers - Movie Poster

We're the Millers

2.0 Anne Murphy

A veteran pot dealer creates a fake family as part of his plan to move a huge shipment of weed into the U.S. from Mexico.

"We're the Millers" will divide audiences. Some will find it hilarious and entertaining, while others will squirm and remain straight faced. Try this test; do you usually like movies that are advertised in bus shelters? Answer "yes siree", then next stop is the cinema. Answer "meh, I don’t think so", then stay on board. This film doesn't ask much of viewers, yet doesn't deliver much either. Ironically it's about a big deal... but is no big deal.


Salt - Movie Poster

Salt

2.0 Andrew O'Dea

A CIA agent goes on the run after a defector accuses her of being a Russian spy.

"Salt" manages to be as unoriginal as it is uninteresting; a bona fide recipe for a dissatisfying movie. A host of irrelevant scenes basically serve as filler to a myriad of unimaginative action sequences that lack any real vigour - and achieve nothing but to create a sense of going through the motions. It also fails to engage on any sort of intellectual level, even though the absurd yet predictable political sub-plot clearly aspired to. Although admirable performances from the cast do their part to spice up an otherwise dull story, after a serving of this film you won't feel anything but malnourished.


New Year's Eve - Movie Poster

New Year's Eve

2.0 Tom Jones

The lives of several couples and singles in New York intertwine over the course of New Year's Eve.

Another occasion where 99.9% of the funding is spent on star power and the rest goes to the scriptwriter. Remember show and tell? Well New Years Eve is more tell, without the show. Characters relay so much information about themselves and the situation in every line, but you never actually see anything. It is over the top. The ball dropping at midnight is treated like a military operation complete with presidential style press conferences. When it comes to New Years, hold out for the real thing.


Observe and Report - Movie Poster

Observe and Report

2.0 Anthony Macali

Bi-polar mall security guard Ronnie Barnhardt is called into action to stop a flasher from turning shopper's paradise into his personal peep show.

"Observe and Report" is a terribly misjudged comedy. Ronnie, our 'hero', is a guy you don't like, don't care about, and don't find funny. It's a simple formula for failure, made worse by poor behaviour and excessive swearing, cheap tools for laughter. Some scenes are so misconceived, they border on surrealism. It's a disappointing effort from a cast who should know better. Protect yourself and don't watch this.


Sanctum - Movie Poster

Sanctum

2.0 Tom Jones

An underwater cave diving team experiences a life-threatening crisis during an expedition to the unexplored and least accessible cave system in the world.

It doesn't matter if it's a sinking ship, a hijacked plane or in this case, a flooded cave, we've seen this story too many times to care anymore. The only original thing about this film is that there is no undercurrent love story. There's more that will annoy you than entertain you. The Australian accent has never sounded worse and the writers need to learn, other words, aside from F%&#, can be used for emphasis. Sanctum, it sinks.


The Watch - Movie Poster

The Watch

2.0 Andrew O'Dea

Four men who form a neighbourhood watch group as a way to get out of their day-to-day family routines find themselves defending the Earth from an alien invasion.

This is a high-concept, low-brow comedy that simply doesn't work. Sure, the initial shock-value might elicit some laughs, but a lazily written script will ensure that variations of the same vulgar gags will become tiresome and stale. Even some genuinely funny moments from particular leads aren't enough to resurrect a story which is nothing more than an after-thought to a barrage of unoriginal toilet humour. Don't watch "The Watch".


Ghost Town - Movie Poster

Ghost Town

2.0 Andrew O'Dea

When Pincus dies unexpectedly, but is miraculously revived, he wakes up to discover that he now has the annoying ability to see ghosts.

Simply put, this movie is a 'rom-com' that is neither romantic, nor funny. It utterly fails to deliver on the potential of its premise, instead delivering a plot that feels all too scripted and formulaic. As it labors along in an unimaginative state, you can't help but be frustrated by comedic talent that is severely underutilized. A completely transparent attempt at a comedy, "Ghost Town" is hauntingly bad.


Rush Hour 3 - Movie Poster

Rush Hour 3

2.0 Anthony Macali

After an attempted assassination on Ambassador Han, Lee and Carter head to Paris to protect a French woman with knowledge of the Triads' secret leaders.

"Rush Hour 3" is a comedy riddled with contrivances. Before the franchise can sink any lower, our first genuine laugh arrives in the sewer. It's the last laugh to come till the finalé, in which an over-computer-generated sequence of fights and thrills on the Eiffel Tower are less than spectacular. You will find the outtakes the most enjoyable part, and they're not even in the movie! Don't rush to see this one.


Arthur - Movie Poster

Arthur

2.0 Andrew O'Dea

A drunken playboy stands to lose his inheritance when he falls for a woman his family doesn't like.

"Arthur" displays all the symptoms of an unnecessary remake. It suffers from a typically trite screenplay and a bevy of unfunny and uninspired gags. Although there are some definite laugh-out-loud moments and an often entertaining rapport between the leading man and his 'nanny', the problem is that they're interspersed by long stretches of boredom and an excruciatingly clichéd romance. You can't help but feel the comedic talent on display is wasted. You won't find Camelot here.


A Nightmare on Elm Street - Movie Poster

A Nightmare on Elm Street

2.0 Anthony Macali

A re-imagining of the horror icon Freddy Krueger, a serial-killer who wields a glove with four blades embedded in the fingers and kills people in their dreams, resulting in their real death in reality.

Without an introduction, "A Nightmare on Elm Street" is terribly confusing. Some cool transitional effects blur the real and dream worlds: Freddy appears loudly, he cuts, blood is spilled... and the kids die in an amusing fashion. The result isn't very good, as too much tension is drawn from sound and not setup. Despite many micro-lapses, it does its best to keep you alive till the very end, and it eventually starts to make a little sense. It's difficult to stay awake during this deeply inferior remake.


The Bucket List - Movie Poster

The Bucket List

2.0 Anthony Macali

Two terminally ill men escape from a cancer ward and head off on a road trip with a wish list of to-dos before they die.

The problem about these two men, apart from their uninspired performances, is the fact we don't care if they pass away or not. Their ambitions are more comparable to household chores, as they trudge along each adventure in vapid fashion. The whole act is a little too cheesy, corny, and convenient for my liking. Better suited for a TV midday movie, this film should not be on your list.


A Few Best Men - Movie Poster

A Few Best Men

2.0 Anne Murphy

An English groom and his three best men travel to the Australian Blue Mountains for his wedding.

Everything about a "A Few Best Men" is exaggerated. From the central romance to the panoramic Australian scenes, the lure and perils of illicit drugs for the groomsmen to the political ambition of the bride's father, this movie is larger than life and complete with a cast of clichéd characters. As is expected of wedding fairytales there is little semblance to reality. Not that there is anything wrong with cinema escapism, but some will want to escape the cinema rather than watch this celebration of matrimony. Baaa.


Paranormal Activity 2 - Movie Poster

Paranormal Activity 2

2.0 Tom Jones

After experiencing what they think is a "break-in", a family sets up security cameras around their home, only to realize that the events unfolding before them are more sinister than they seem.

Mum's possessed by the devil! Quick, get the handy-cam! The ridiculousness of this film is matched only by the ludicrousness of the haunting inflicted upon the family home. Though there are moments where you may jump in your seat, you are more likely to laugh at this depiction of the unreal and at the actors, who try a bit too hard to appear like your typical family. Yet another sequel to add to the list of those that don't live up to the original.


Date Night - Movie Poster

Date Night

2.0 Wendy Slevison

In New York City, a case of mistaken identity turns a bored married couple's attempt at a glamorous and romantic evening into something more thrilling and dangerous.

With its highly talented stars and strong supporting cast, this movie should have been a sure thing. What a disappointment that it's barely funny, and even worse, actually quite boring. The staging and script are clumsy, trying way too hard to garner laughs. Somehow nothing seems to click, and you just end up feeling uncomfortable watching so much effort for so little return. Like a bad date, "Date Night" makes you wish you'd opted for a quiet night in.


The Hangover Part III - Movie Poster

The Hangover Part III

2.0 Andrew O'Dea

There's no wedding and no bachelor party... but when the Wolfpack hits the road, all bets are off.

"The Hangover Part III" is a victim of its own success. Still running on the fumes of the hugely popular first installment, this outing is nothing more than a shameless cash-grab, where the only real debauchery involved is its mere production. What sort of 'hangover' movie doesn't even have a hangover? While there are some rare and isolated moments of hilarity, what lies in-between is nothing but a desert bereft of comedy or thrills – where any laughter is contrived and strained at best. What happened in Vegas should've stayed in Vegas.


Vampires Suck - Movie Poster

Vampires Suck

2.0 Anthony Macali

A spoof of vampire-themed movies, where teenager Becca finds herself torn between two boys.

"Vampires Suck" is far from cinematic, but does show what an easy target the re-imagined world of vampires is. From acting quirks to excessive angst, there are some surprising moments of insight and wit, while restoring the bloody horror absent from its subject matter in outrageous style. Such humour quickly turns to the dark-side, resorting to poor slapstick and pop culture references that are simply embarrassing and beyond farcical. Admittedly, both fans and non-believers of the saga will find delight in the film's jocularity. A ridiculous observation of the blatantly ridiculous.


Bad Teacher - Movie Poster

Bad Teacher

2.0 Wendy Slevison

A foul-mouthed junior high teacher sets her sights on a rich colleague instead.

This is a movie that starts out at full throttle, and from there, finds it hard to maintain momentum. Despite trying so hard to be outrageous with its brazen, juvenile comedy, "Bad Teacher" is ultimately not terribly funny. The jokes are just too obvious; there is no subtlety or nuance. Everything is in your face. The cast, in particular the leading lady, work (too) hard with mediocre material that lacks wit and warmth. You don't care about what happens to these 'teachers' - and you definitely don't want to waste an apple on any of them.


Transporter 3 - Movie Poster

Transporter 3

2.0 Anthony Macali

Frank Martin puts the driving gloves on to deliver Valentina, the kidnapped daughter of a Ukranian government official, from Marseilles to Odessa on the Black Sea.

Third time around, it's obviously hard to keep things fresh. "Transporter 3" pushes the boundaries in action and style, with absolutely preposterous results. If the story wasn't so grounded in reality, they could get away with such absurdity, but the expressionless one-dimensional characters and "fast-forward the action bits" film technique make it very frustrating to watch. This movie is a disappointing package that never delivers.


Fright Night - Movie Poster

Fright Night

2.0 Courtney Slevison

A teenager suspects that his new neighbour is a vampire.

The 'teenage vampire flick' has become a cinema epidemic, and "Fright Night" wastes no time in slotting itself right into the sexy/comedy/horror genre. Neither funny nor scary enough to hold its own, this latest addition feels like a clumsy mash-up of movies we have all seen before and is therefore predictable, soulless and unengaging. For some, it may be an enjoyable enough way to spend a couple of hours, but ultimately this one is frightfully forgettable.


Total Recall - Movie Poster

Total Recall

2.0 Andrew O'Dea

A factory worker begins to suspect that he is a spy after having fake memories planted in his head.

"Total Recall" is an unimaginative, humourless insult to the original sci-fi classic it is based upon. A convoluted script that takes itself way too seriously is only compounded by a host of cheesy one-liners delivered by actors that have neither the charm nor charisma to pull them off. The CGI is excessive and poorly executed, although certain fanboys might be pleased by the 'extra titillation' on offer. The entire movie feels like one continuous chase scene, propelled by a storyline that is nothing more than lame political allegory. If only it was possible not to recall this disaster.