The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Anthony Macali
In the Far East, trouble-seeking father-and-son duo Rick and Alex O'Connell unearth the mummy of the first Emperor of Qin -- a shape-shifting entity who was cursed by a wizard centuries ago.
This movie is your typical Hollywood adventure flick; family friendly, light-hearted, simple plot with simple characters. But at what point in time did copious amounts of computer generated scenes substitute for real action? It makes the film lifeless, uninspiring and unbelievable. "Tomb of the Dragon Emperor" delivers all you would expect in its mediocrity. We can only hope this story is finally dead, destined for burial, and never to be unearthed again.
Street Kings
Anthony Macali
Tom is a veteran cop who finds life difficult to navigate after the death of his wife. When evidence implicates him in the execution of a fellow officer, he is forced to go up against the cop culture.
"Street Kings" is a dull, clichéd and terrible episode of life on the streets of LA. You have the African-American brother, the Mexicano Esé, the Korean Triad and the hard-boiled cops who always look out for each other and play the tough guy. The whole setup is embarrassing, with very mediocre and laughable dialogue, as well as unthreatening criminals who always end up helping the police. Filmed in a style where excessive grittiness is king, this is actually bad.
Tenderness
Anne Murphy
A juvenile offender with psychopathic tendencies is released from detention and hooks up with a twisted young girl, while a semi-retired cop dogs their tracks.
An unhinged murderer, a hackneyed lieutenant, and a troubled teenager from a damaged background play out this crime thriller. Reasonable watching descends into cliché as it becomes hard to pick which of the characters is the more stereotyped. Suspense is defused by moments corny enough to elicit laughter. Predictably, neither callousness nor tenderness delivers redemption, not for the players, and not for the film.
Fast & Furious
Luke Bartter
An FBI agent and a fugitive use street racing to infiltrate and take down a notorious crime lord.
For a film about racing fast cars, the pace is sluggish, bogged down with too many characters, and suffers from an over-abundance of pointless non-car chase related scenes. Not completely embracing the ridiculous premise like the previous films, "Fast & Furious" is humourless and juvenile. The lack of fun makes the painful leaps of logic even more obvious, leaving an uneven mess that's rarely explosive or exciting. It may be slick and loud, but unfortunately there's nothing under the hood. For the auto-obsessed only.
Killer Elite
Andrew O'Dea
When his mentor is taken captive, a retired member of Britain's Elite Special Air Service is forced into action. His mission: kill three assassins dispatched by their cunning leader.
Shot in a gritty visual style, "Killer Elite" simply lacks the flair to separate it from the rest of the paint-by-numbers action flicks. There are definitely pockets of impressive, adrenaline-fueled action sequences and stunts, yet as the plot unfolds and the body count rises, the audience will find themselves misguided by a storyline that is over-complicated. This isn't helped by the wooden leading man and a supporting cast who should've simply done better. All killer, no filler.
Unknown
Andrew O'Dea
A man awakens from a coma, only to discover that someone has taken on his identity and that no one believes him. With the help of a young woman, he sets out to prove who he is.
The premise of "Unknown" is solid, but it's the execution that falters. You can't help but shake the feeling you've seen it all before, only done much better. Most disappointing is the talented cast that is wasted in underwhelming, forgettable roles. An inevitable twist might explain inconsistencies in the plot, but it only leads to a pedestrian climax that will have most wishing the amnesia that plagues the protagonist could've translated to the viewing experience as well. Forget it.
Transporter 3
Anthony Macali
Frank Martin puts the driving gloves on to deliver Valentina, the kidnapped daughter of a Ukranian government official, from Marseilles to Odessa on the Black Sea.
Third time around, it's obviously hard to keep things fresh. "Transporter 3" pushes the boundaries in action and style, with absolutely preposterous results. If the story wasn't so grounded in reality, they could get away with such absurdity, but the expressionless one-dimensional characters and "fast-forward the action bits" film technique make it very frustrating to watch. This movie is a disappointing package that never delivers.
My Bloody Valentine
Courtney Slevison
A decade after the notorious Valentine's Day massacre, Tom returns to his quaint hometown only to find that a string of similar murders has started up.
A remake of the 1981 movie of the same name, "My Bloody Valentine" suffers from a serious case of been there, done that. The film is basically a string of clichéd horror scenarios strung together by a weak and confusing plot. The characters are stiff and unlikeable, making it hard to care when they get hacked to pieces by the revenge-seeking serial killer. While aspiring to be a classic retro slasher flick, this movie struggles to be anything but a waste of time.
Twilight
Andrew O'Dea
A teenage girl risks everything when she falls in love with a vampire.
"Twilight" is in essence a thinly veiled melodrama. The bulk of the film constitutes parading an endless procession of our star-crossed lovers staring longingly at each other, which achieves nothing but to reduce it to a lumbering bore. It feels like filler to a paper-thin plot, glaringly prevalent when crucial story revelations are uncovered simply by using an online search engine. An overwhelming sense of the anemic is coupled with dialogue that is as bland and as pale as the vampires' ridiculous skin. Appropriately put, this movie sucks.
A Nightmare on Elm Street
Anthony Macali
A re-imagining of the horror icon Freddy Krueger, a serial-killer who wields a glove with four blades embedded in the fingers and kills people in their dreams, resulting in their real death in reality.
Without an introduction, "A Nightmare on Elm Street" is terribly confusing. Some cool transitional effects blur the real and dream worlds: Freddy appears loudly, he cuts, blood is spilled... and the kids die in an amusing fashion. The result isn't very good, as too much tension is drawn from sound and not setup. Despite many micro-lapses, it does its best to keep you alive till the very end, and it eventually starts to make a little sense. It's difficult to stay awake during this deeply inferior remake.
Wanted
Anthony Macali
A frustrated office worker learns that he is the son of a professional assassin, and that he shares his father's superhuman killing abilities.
The major problem with "Wanted" is that it's really stupid. It requires an absolute suspension of belief, as we're supposed to believe "looms of fate" can prove fatal. Story aside, some of the sequences are decent in their slow-mo gun-toting CGI kind of way. If the film didn't take itself so seriously, the setup would not be completely ridiculous. Over-the-top choreographed action cannot save it from a predictable plot and a fraternity of two-dimensional characters.
Chronicle
Stefan Bugryn
Three high school friends gain superpowers after making an incredible discovery.
All the audience needs to know is this movie is nowhere near as cool as it sounds. "Chronicle" might have its moments, like a seriously awesome action scene towards the end, but as for the rest, it simply falls short of being anything really unique. Instead, it will be left to your imagination to fill in the gaps of what it could've been. Sometimes the film is just plain awkward to watch, thanks in no large part to the B-grade scripting, dialogue, special effects, acting... pretty much all of it. Chronicle this one as 'fail'.
The Box
Anthony Macali
A small wooden box arrives on the doorstep of a married couple, who know that opening it will grant them a million dollars and kill someone they don't know.
Based on a short-story, this creepy film doesn't live up to its promising premise. A lot of weird stuff happens - blood noses, gateways, lightening and other unintentionally funny moments of suspense. The score is atmospheric, performances solid, but intriguing questions of morality are lost in the frustratingly ponderous revelations. The lesson here is to stay at home in your box, perhaps watch the box, and avoid the confusion that is "The Box".
Salt
Andrew O'Dea
A CIA agent goes on the run after a defector accuses her of being a Russian spy.
"Salt" manages to be as unoriginal as it is uninteresting; a bona fide recipe for a dissatisfying movie. A host of irrelevant scenes basically serve as filler to a myriad of unimaginative action sequences that lack any real vigour - and achieve nothing but to create a sense of going through the motions. It also fails to engage on any sort of intellectual level, even though the absurd yet predictable political sub-plot clearly aspired to. Although admirable performances from the cast do their part to spice up an otherwise dull story, after a serving of this film you won't feel anything but malnourished.
The Book of Eli
Andrew O'Dea
A post-apocalyptic tale, in which a lone man fights his way across America in order to protect a sacred book that holds the secrets to saving humankind.
"The Book of Eli" is a very well made movie, but only from a visual standpoint. Unfortunately, stylish sepia tones and occasional moments of choreographed brilliance are outweighed by a gaping storyline. Even though it manages to raise some intriguing spiritual conundrums, the nonsensical plot fails to lend these questions of morality any real substance. This shortfall is only made worse by an abursd plot twist that fails to be anywhere near as as reverent as it aspires to be. Amen.