Melancholia - Movie Poster

Melancholia

2.0 Anthony Macali

Two sisters find their relationship challenged as a nearby planet threatens to collide into the Earth.

"Melancholia" starts with a series of hauntingly beautiful apocalyptic visuals, but as you barely survive this slow intro, you soon realise the rest of the film is just an excuse for this showcase. The story is divided into two parts, and both are equally dull, as it follows irritating characters played with admittedly impressive performances. The sisters are distant, ill and grappling with life in the confines of their contemptible lavish setting. Parallels are drawn, and you see why the luminous body in the sky was named so, but you don't care. This planet just won't hurtle towards us fast enough.


Winter's Bone - Movie Poster

Winter's Bone

2.0 Stefan Bugryn

A young girl sets out to find the truth of her father's disappearance whilst looking after her dysfunctional family.

This is a disappointing movie that promises a lot yet delivers little. The whole story acts as a tense build up to a secret a community of drug addled Southerners are keeping. But once you get to where it's headed, you feel like it wasn't worth the time, and it plays out rather banal. The set design and acting are actually both impressive, but they do not make up for the weak storyline. Sticks, stones, and a bad film will break "Winter's Bones"... and your enjoyment.


High School Musical 3: Senior Year - Movie Poster

High School Musical 3: Senior Year

2.0 Anthony Macali

Troy and Gabriella struggle with the idea of being separated from one another as college approaches. Along with the rest of the crew, they stage a spring musical to address their fears about their future.

"High School Musical 3" might be better suited for the stage, but definitely not for the big screen. It feels like cameras were simply stationed in front of each performance, creating a dull and disappointing view considering the potential of cinema. The dance choreography is impressive, far superior to the songs that take too long to gather any momentum or vivacity. The climax is a simple re-hash of the film's earlier songs, and like my senior year, I couldn't wait for it to be over.


Gomorrah - Movie Poster

Gomorrah

2.0 Anthony Macali

An inside look at Italy's modern-day crime families. Based on a book by Roberto Saviano.

This film is a sprawling mess of characters and storylines. You see a mafia suit distribute money among the neighbourhood, two gung-ho youths wanting to be gangsters, and a guy who creates skirts in a workshop. It leaves us clueless as to how all these scenes fit together to create the big picture. Trying to make sense of it all is a slow and boring exercise. "Gomorrah" is a poorly executed and frustrating insight into the Italian underworld.


Greenberg - Movie Poster

Greenberg

2.0 Anthony Macali

A New Yorker moves to Los Angeles in order to figure out his life while he house-sits for his brother, and he soon sparks with his brother's assistant.

"Greenberg" is a guy who is annoying and weird, so aloof that you may question his mental state. At the beginning, you empathise with the man, but this doesn't last long, as you become bored by his antics and frustrated by his social encumbrance. It's difficult to root for such a character, especially when his old friends, and particularly the vulnerable assistant, suffer from his selfishness. Yes, life must be tough without any responsibility... poor Greenberg.


Charlie St. Cloud - Movie Poster

Charlie St. Cloud

2.0 Thomas Jones

Charlie St. Cloud is a young man overcome by grief at the death of his younger brother. So much so that he takes a job as caretaker of the cemetery in which his brother is buried.

Under usual circumstances, if someone could see dead people, they'd be called crazy. But apparently, if that someone is incredibly good looking, it's endearing. For a film, which deals with heavy subject matter, it's rather underwhelming. Too much emphasis is placed on peripherals (what do geese have to do with anything?) and not enough on the tragedy and trauma, which comes with losing someone. When it comes to Charlie, best stick to the regular seven stages of mourning.


Matching Jack - Movie Poster

Matching Jack

2.0 Wendy Slevison

A woman struggles with her son's illness and her husband's infidelity.

Watching "Matching Jack" is a bit like spending two hours in the Oncology Ward of a Children's Hospital, and whilst compassionately acknowledging that for many families, this is their dreadful reality, it's pretty tough on the ordinary movie-goer. The film is about sick children, and in spite of a romance and a 'happy' ending, this fact leaves a slight feeling of discomfort - it's too emotionally overworked to be a documentary, but too tragically true to life to be entertaining. Tears will flow, but it just feels a bit too orchestrated... disappointing diagnosis for one of Australia's well-known film-making teams.


Winter's Tale - Movie Poster

Winter's Tale

2.0 Anthony Macali

A burglar falls for an heiress as she dies in his arms. When he learns that he has the gift of reincarnation, he sets out to save her.

The greatest miracle in "Winter's Tale" is how the film was born in the first place. For the most part, it doesn't make any sense, and talk of true love and flying horses only complicates matters even more. The funny thing is (aside from the cringe-worthy dialogue) is that the audience may actually find themselves interested in seeing just what other foolishness they might come up with. It seems the only magic lies in making up rules along the way to suit the story. Destined to fail.


The Bucket List - Movie Poster

The Bucket List

2.0 Anthony Macali

Two terminally ill men escape from a cancer ward and head off on a road trip with a wish list of to-dos before they die.

The problem about these two men, apart from their uninspired performances, is the fact we don't care if they pass away or not. Their ambitions are more comparable to household chores, as they trudge along each adventure in vapid fashion. The whole act is a little too cheesy, corny, and convenient for my liking. Better suited for a TV midday movie, this film should not be on your list.


Trouble with the Curve - Movie Poster

Trouble with the Curve

2.0 Anthony Macali

An ailing baseball scout in his twilight years takes his daughter along for one last recruiting trip.

Don't expect too much baseball in "Trouble with the Curve". Instead, this offering plays more like one of those 'father-daughter relationship' movies. The father, grumpy and old, is stuck in his ways, spending most of his time grumbling and moaning while watching the game he loves. His daughter, a lawyer, is busy, career driven and resentful. The performances are heartfelt, but sadly the film is a little dull, and ties all the loose ends ever so neatly. No curve balls here, this story is predictable as can be... better picks out there.


The Eclipse - Movie Poster

The Eclipse

2.0 Anne Murphy

In a seaside Irish town, a widower sparks with a visiting horror novelist while he also begins to believe he is seeing ghosts.

There's a dose of horror, a hint of romance, a touch of drama, some grieving, and a lot of mystery as we wonder where the plot of this film went. "The Eclipse" begs for a stronger narrative thread as the story plays out as a mish-mash of underdeveloped elements. The moody and uneven Irish coast is scenically captured as a backdrop, however moody and uneven are only gratifying when delivered by nature, not the director. An eclipse of coherence.


Antarctica - Movie Poster

Antarctica

2.0 Anne Murphy

A group of good looking Israeli men hang out at the same library, bar, and beds.

The physical encounters that make up the greater part of this movie are frequent and torrid. There is more heavy breathing than dialogue, and the storyline feels underdeveloped as a result. Desire and sex are not confused with love, and it's all a little cold as a result. Odd that with such pumping action, emotions are so understated. There is no deceit, an absence of jealousy; the characters are as cool as they're hot. "Antarctica" - little wonder the ice caps are melting.


Labor Day - Movie Poster

Labor Day

2.0 Anne Murphy

Depressed single mom Adele and her son Henry offer a wounded, fearsome man a ride.

Five days can pass with a blink in screen time, but in this two hour effort the "Labor Day" weekend seems interminable, and staying engaged takes a bit of effort. This low-action romance might leave you snickering as the credits roll, such is the implausibility, and it's difficult to believe it's supposed to be taken seriously. Fortunately the actors keep the film together with fine performances, yet as hard as they work, their efforts are insufficient to weigh credibility to the story. Even if you're ready for the weekend, just keep Friday on your mind.


What to Expect When You're Expecting - Movie Poster

What to Expect When You're Expecting

2.0 Wendy Slevison

A look at love through the eyes of five couples experiencing the thrills and surprises of having a baby.

If you're the type of person who has always found pregnancy funny, then this may just be the film for you! Based on the best-selling 1980's advice book of the same name, this muddled mess struggles to connect with its audience. Too many storylines, too little character development and way too many clichéd jokes make the best thing about this movie the incredibly lifelike, prosthetic pregnant bellies. If this is your thing, great. Otherwise, don't expect much.


The Man Who Came With The Snow - Movie Poster

The Man Who Came With The Snow

2.0 Wendy Slevison

A man enters a bar, sits and observes, not speaking. Gradually, the silent presence of the stranger disturbs the other customers.

This bleak film, set in Tajikistan, begins as a tableau, monochromatic but for the violent splashes of red placed artfully throughout. In stark contrast, the snow and wind rage outside, the elements as harsh as life in this place. While an interesting study in the power of stillness, this film never engages the viewer. Perhaps the severity of the setting defines it too strongly... there is just no warmth to be found.


Magic Mike XXL - Movie Poster

Magic Mike XXL

2.0 Anthony Macali

Mike rejoins the crew to embark on a road trip to Myrtle Beach and attend the Annual Strippers Convention.

"Magic Mike XXL" does everything in its power to subvert all your expectations. Apart from the final hour, the plot is largely uneventful and bland, severely lacking the level of fun and frivolity from the first magic show. Despite the surprisingly pleasant motion picture visuals, this story of male-entertainers hitting the road on a journey of self-discovery unfortunately sticks too close to the straight and narrow. Put it away.


Side Effects - Movie Poster

Side Effects

2.0 Anne Murphy

A woman's world unravels when a drug prescribed by her psychiatrist has unexpected side effects.

Much like its characters, "Side Effects" is never in touch with reality, not that realism, per se, is necessary for a good movie. The misrepresentation of mental health problems and treatment is a little unforgivable though; an already marginalised population may be further stigmatised, and that's not entertainment. There are lots of twists and turns that build intrigue but somehow the story manages to become more preposterous with each plot revelation, and the suspension of disbelief is necessary for viewing enjoyment. Pharma meets psychodrama.


Canteen - Movie Poster

Canteen

2.0 Anne Murphy

The events in a night, from dusk to dawn, at a roadside kebab caravan, Kantina.

People come and go throughout the night, what brings them to the canteen is a mystery - most don't drop in for the food. What does happen is a confusion of events and characters. Greek speakers in the audience will chuckle more than the non-Greek speakers, as the subtitles seem to lose something in translation. As the canteen's patrons muddled along throughout the disjointed storyline, it's no surprise the production quality suffered the same fate and was inconsistent from scene to scene. You'll be left hungry after visiting "Canteen".


Hyde Park on Hudson - Movie Poster

Hyde Park on Hudson

2.0 Anne Murphy

The story of the affair between FDR and his cousin Daisy Suckley, centered around the weekend in 1939 when the King of England visited New York.

The most entertaining thread of "Hyde Park on The Hudson" comes from the pronunciation of 'hot dog' by the royal couple. Disarmingly straight-faced, they consider whether to eat one. It's a small highlight in what is an otherwise lacklustre production about a philatelist president and his dowdy cousin. "How I longed for him" is typical of the narration provided, courtesy of the mooning paramour to explain what isn't apparent on the screen. The Hudson reduced to a rivulet.


Marley & Me - Movie Poster

Marley & Me

2.0 Wendy Slevison

A family learns important life lessons from their adorable, but naughty and neurotic dog.

"Marley and Me" positions itself as a romantic comedy but unfortunately it fails to deliver. With no chemistry between its lead actors, the characters and plot are difficult to engage with, and you find yourself not really caring about the human stars. It's the 22 adorable Labradors who share the role of Marley that are the best part of this movie, and the only laughs come from the innumerable scenes of chewing and destruction. For dog-lovers with lots of patience only.


Special Treatment - Movie Poster

Special Treatment

2.0 Anne Murphy

A world-weary psychoanalyst and a classy prostitute both struggle with relationship issues.

The premise for "Special Treatment" is intriguing, but unfortunately the film fails to leverage the plot for comic or dramatic interest. While parallels are sketched between the professions of the two main characters, the outlines drawn are insufficient to sustain audience curiosity, which is not encouraged to deepen into involvement. The supporting cast suffer in undeveloped roles, as clients and friends, they fail to bring enough colour to the screen to be appreciated as eccentric, and subsequently end up looking pitiful. Better treatment required to make this movie special.


Unknown - Movie Poster

Unknown

2.0 Andrew O'Dea

A man awakens from a coma, only to discover that someone has taken on his identity and that no one believes him. With the help of a young woman, he sets out to prove who he is.

The premise of "Unknown" is solid, but it's the execution that falters. You can't help but shake the feeling you've seen it all before, only done much better. Most disappointing is the talented cast that is wasted in underwhelming, forgettable roles. An inevitable twist might explain inconsistencies in the plot, but it only leads to a pedestrian climax that will have most wishing the amnesia that plagues the protagonist could've translated to the viewing experience as well. Forget it.


Fifty Shades of Grey - Movie Poster

Fifty Shades of Grey

2.0 Anthony Macali

Literature student Anastasia's life changes forever when she meets handsome billionaire Christian.

"Fifty Shades of Grey" is a story about the allure of wealth, and bizarre sexual contractual agreements that arise from 'dating' a wealthy man. An introduction to these politics from our two leads is assuredly the most interesting part of the film. Unfortunately the rest is a bitter disappointment, dominated by a tiring and flirtatious game of to-and-fro, a precursor to the passionless and sanitised sex that follows. Attractive leads, inadvertent laughs and very little to love. Don't submit to boredom.


Shame - Movie Poster

Shame

2.0 Anne Murphy

A couple are considering sending back a difficult adopted child.

The plot outline suggests that this should be a tense and emotional film, as a pair grapples with their situation and subsequent decision. The expected intensity, given the subject of the souring reality of a long-held dream, is not realised. Along with a failure to deliver an emotional punch, there are other difficulties: the real time pace drags, use of symbolism is too overt, and an unlikely sub-plot that detracts from the main story complicates the film. All in all it is a shame.


J. Edgar - Movie Poster

J. Edgar

2.0 Andrew O'Dea

Director of the FBI for almost 40 years, J.Edgar Hoover was feared and admired, reviled and revered.

This biopic is as unprovocative as it is uninformative. So much of "J Edgar" is dedicated towards an unnecessary focus on the man's battle with his sexuality and unrequited romance that it loses direction. Eventually, it labours towards the end of what is ultimately a dull and turgid affair. Utterly disappointing when you consider the talent of the director and the squandered opportunity to delve into the life of one of the most influential and controversial characters in the history of the United States. Sucks almost as much as the protagonists' vacuous namesake.