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Date Night
Wendy Slevison
In New York City, a case of mistaken identity turns a bored married couple's attempt at a glamorous and romantic evening into something more thrilling and dangerous.
With its highly talented stars and strong supporting cast, this movie should have been a sure thing. What a disappointment that it's barely funny, and even worse, actually quite boring. The staging and script are clumsy, trying way too hard to garner laughs. Somehow nothing seems to click, and you just end up feeling uncomfortable watching so much effort for so little return. Like a bad date, "Date Night" makes you wish you'd opted for a quiet night in.
Imagine That
Anne Murphy
A financial executive who can't stop his career downspiral is invited into his daughter's imaginary world, where solutions to his problems await.
"Imagine That" is a confused family offering, where on one hand the setting is an industry probably incomprehensible to children, and on the other is humour that is juvenile, unlikely to amuse older audience members. Mediocre on many fronts, yet incredible too, as no special effects are used in a film where an imaginary world is a major plot feature. Some movies made for the big screen go straight to a DVD release, imagine that.
Bad Teacher
Wendy Slevison
A foul-mouthed junior high teacher sets her sights on a rich colleague instead.
This is a movie that starts out at full throttle, and from there, finds it hard to maintain momentum. Despite trying so hard to be outrageous with its brazen, juvenile comedy, "Bad Teacher" is ultimately not terribly funny. The jokes are just too obvious; there is no subtlety or nuance. Everything is in your face. The cast, in particular the leading lady, work (too) hard with mediocre material that lacks wit and warmth. You don't care about what happens to these 'teachers' - and you definitely don't want to waste an apple on any of them.
The Tale of Despereaux
Wendy Slevison
The tale of three unlikely heroes - a misfit mouse, an unhappy rat, and a bumbling servant girl with cauliflower ears - whose fates are intertwined with that of a castle's young princess.
This movie, while looking like a beautiful old edition of a German Fairytale, has a bewildered storyline and crudely realised characters. While the nobility are given elegant equine faces, the servant girl and her father look like cabbage patch dolls - clichés that are disappointing given the potential of the animation genre. This film has no warmth or heart, and is a lacklustre contribution to the holiday movie releases for children.
A Few Best Men
Anne Murphy
An English groom and his three best men travel to the Australian Blue Mountains for his wedding.
Everything about a "A Few Best Men" is exaggerated. From the central romance to the panoramic Australian scenes, the lure and perils of illicit drugs for the groomsmen to the political ambition of the bride's father, this movie is larger than life and complete with a cast of clichéd characters. As is expected of wedding fairytales there is little semblance to reality. Not that there is anything wrong with cinema escapism, but some will want to escape the cinema rather than watch this celebration of matrimony. Baaa.
New Year's Eve
Tom Jones
The lives of several couples and singles in New York intertwine over the course of New Year's Eve.
Another occasion where 99.9% of the funding is spent on star power and the rest goes to the scriptwriter. Remember show and tell? Well New Years Eve is more tell, without the show. Characters relay so much information about themselves and the situation in every line, but you never actually see anything. It is over the top. The ball dropping at midnight is treated like a military operation complete with presidential style press conferences. When it comes to New Years, hold out for the real thing.
Iron Sky
Anthony Macali
The Nazis set up a secret base on the moon in 1945 where they hide out and plan to return to power in 2018.
Venture to the dark side of the moon and you will discover the Nazi's of "Iron Sky". Yes, the film is ridiculous, as the premise might suggest. A war brought to life with cartoonish CGI done on the cheap, which in all honesty, looks quite impressive considering the obvious budget constraints. There are some funny jokes about technology, even a little on politics, but for the most part it's space-junk, including a sleuth of Germans and Americans who are really annoying. B-Grade fanfare.
The Bucket List
Anthony Macali
Two terminally ill men escape from a cancer ward and head off on a road trip with a wish list of to-dos before they die.
The problem about these two men, apart from their uninspired performances, is the fact we don't care if they pass away or not. Their ambitions are more comparable to household chores, as they trudge along each adventure in vapid fashion. The whole act is a little too cheesy, corny, and convenient for my liking. Better suited for a TV midday movie, this film should not be on your list.
Fame
Wendy Slevison
An updated version of the 1980 musical, centered on students of the NY Academy of Performing Arts.
The grit, heartbreak, passion and talent of the characters was the heart of the ground-breaking original movie. These elements are absent in this 'reinvention'. It is bland and soul-less, two things a film about performing arts should never be. Clearly aimed at the MTV audience, this is a sequence of performance numbers interrupted by inconsequential plot, rather than a character study in the lives of extraordinarily talented students desperate for success. More sparkler than flame, this "Fame" bungles its audition.
Taking Woodstock
Anthony Macali
A man working at his parents' motel in the Catskills inadvertently sets in motion the generation-defining concert in the summer of 1969.
"Taking Woodstock" presents a curious perspective of the legendary festival, whose sheer logistics provide more interest than anything else. The story centres on Elliot, as we watch him break free from his parents to co-ordinate a festival for thousands of hippies. While the film captures the culture of the time, it unfortunately shuns the music, meaning most will come away feeling less than "high". Take away the bright colours, and you have a dull film.
Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Andrew O'Dea
When Sid's attempt to adopt three dinosaur eggs gets him abducted by their real mother to an underground lost world, his friends attempt to rescue him.
"Ice Age 3" fails dismally in its attempt at what is now the benchmark for a successful animation - the discerning ability to entertain both kids and adults alike. Stunning visuals alone are not enough, more importantly, there must be a plot to match. The creativity of the earliest films have all but melted away, as the paint-by-numbers storyline combines with jokes so dated they're almost pre-historic. Let's hope this franchise is now extinct too.
What Just Happened?
Wendy Slevison
Two weeks in the life of a fading Hollywood producer who's having a rough time trying to get his new picture made.
What a disappointment. "What Just Happened" is a film boasting an amazing pedigree, but has no apparent storyline or plot, no standout performances and no characters we care anything about; not even the big-name actors playing themselves can do anything to invigorate this lifeless, pointless exercise. Unfortunately, all you are likely to think as you leave the cinema after watching this movie is "what just happened?" And the answer is... not much.
Attack the Block
Anthony Macali
A teen gang in South London defend their block from an alien invasion.
Right, in "Attack the Block" you got these vicious gorilla alien 'tings. They try to merc our crew, fo' real, and it can get quite scary when they use their glow-in-the-dark teeth, 'innit. The lighting is awesome yo', but them characters aren't the best and thankfully don't last long... if you know what I'm saying. The leader of the gang is cool, and believable, but the rest of the film gets too repetitive and not likeable and stuff. Everyone keeps talking like 'tis, you know, and it gets way irritating by the end. No need to check it.
Kaboom
Tom Jones
A sci-fi story centered on the sexual awakening of a group of college students.
When imagining how "Kaboom" came about, you get the feeling there was a brainstorming session where any (and every) idea imaginable was put on the table, and the very next day they started filming. As a result, not a lot in this film makes sense; the lead is a gay guy, but he has sex with a woman who he later discovers is his half-sister. This type of nonsense escalates to the point where the audience gives up trying to understand what the hell is going on. Amusing for some, but others will quickly lose interest. Ka...booooooo.
- Genre » Comedy Sci-Fi
- Release » Limited 24 Mar 2011
- Festival » Melbourne Queer Film Festival 2011
A Film with Me in It
Anne Murphy
A couple of out of work actors find themselves in a predicament, as accidental deaths pile up around them.
The situation the characters in this movie find themselves in is both dark and comical, but as a black comedy, it fails to deliver. The premise is clever but never witty, and the characters are droll and bumbling, comedic without being funny. There are all of the necessary ingredients to arouse laughter, but when it's served up the dish simply fails to amuse. Something about this film with me in the audience just doesn't seem right.