Chronicle
Stefan Bugryn
Three high school friends gain superpowers after making an incredible discovery.
All the audience needs to know is this movie is nowhere near as cool as it sounds. "Chronicle" might have its moments, like a seriously awesome action scene towards the end, but as for the rest, it simply falls short of being anything really unique. Instead, it will be left to your imagination to fill in the gaps of what it could've been. Sometimes the film is just plain awkward to watch, thanks in no large part to the B-grade scripting, dialogue, special effects, acting... pretty much all of it. Chronicle this one as 'fail'.
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant
Courtney Slevison
A teenage boy unknowingly breaks a 200-year-old truce between two warring factions of vampires.
This film has all the right ingredients but never quite lives up to its initial promise. There is great potential in the colourful and quirky characters, but due to a slow and drawn-out plot, they never really get fleshed out. Lying somewhere between comedy and pre-teen horror, there just aren't enough laughs or scares to succeed in either genre. As the title clearly suggests, this film is designed to be the first of a franchise, but for a film about vampires and circus freaks, it just doesn't have enough bite to keep you hooked.
Clash of the Titans
Anthony Macali
The mortal son of the god Zeus embarks on a perilous journey to stop the underworld and its minions from spreading their evil to Earth as well as the heavens.
"Clash of the Titans" is one of those big budget blockbusters bursting with special effects that attempt to distract the viewer from the mediocre story, clunky dialogue and wooden characters. Sure, there is great production value, but that doesn't atone for how atrociously boring this film is, or how the retrofitted 3D makes a mess of anyone possessing long hair - demigod and mortal alike. It may bring Gods to life, but will destroy the faith of anyone wishing to worship this horrendous beast.
Cloverfield
Anthony Macali
Cloverfield follows five New Yorkers from the perspective of a hand-held video camera. The movie starts as a monster of unknown origin destroys a building.
"Cloverfield" is filmed from the perspective of its protagonists using a hand-held camcorder, a technique which is effective for the majority of the short running time. The monster is a mighty sight to behold, and you wish it featured more. It's the monster's spawns that are the stars, their calls and cackles leaving you in fits of laughter, rather than frightened from their beckoning bite. By the end, you are exhausted, and perhaps nauseous, from the non-stop footage.
Conan the Barbarian
Andrew O'Dea
The tale of Conan the Cimmerian and his adventures across the continent of Hyboria on a quest to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village.
"Conan the Barbarian" is a spectacle without substance. Produced on a large scale, the set design and fight sequences are initially impressive, replete with gruesome, blood-spattering violence. Most disappointing though, is that ultimately the film becomes repetitive and tiresome. Amplified by the lack of any characterisation at all, the audience soon discovers there's no backbone to the bone-crushing... and the most barbaric thing is the fact you have to pay the cost of admission.
Cop Out
Anthony Macali
A comedy about a veteran NYPD cop whose rare baseball card is stolen. Since it's his only hope to pay for his daughter's upcoming wedding, he recruits his partner to track down the thief.
"Cop Out" is a deliberate homage to the budding action-comedy films of the eighties, and does them a great injustice. There are some jokes, but they mainly consist of characters behaving badly to themes of terribly distorted music that insult the subject of its imitations. Admittedly, there is fun pondering over the motivations of the cast and if they realised they were a partner to such a flop. This film should be suspended without release.
Cowboys & Aliens
Anthony Macali
A spaceship arrives in Arizona, 1873, to take over the Earth, starting with the Wild West region.
"Cowboys and Aliens" really is as stupid as the title suggests. What begins promisingly as a well-grounded western with a barely acceptable premise, slowly turns to farcical romp. It seems the 'aliens' are reduced to a basic condiment, simply added as a side dish, or a spice, in an otherwise very bland story. Sure, it's probably the only chance you'll get to see an extraterrestrial get hog-tied, but that's no excuse for a film where the characters and audience share a single plight… as mere victims of gold-digging.
Daybreakers
Luke Bartter
In the year 2019, a plague has transformed almost every human into vampires. Faced with a dwindling blood supply, the fractured dominant race plots their survival.
This violent, sci-fi horror presents the original idea of a vampire society with humans as the minority, giving the cast many great moments. The story and visuals are enjoyable, and by packing so much into a brief running time, there's never a chance of being bored. Whilst lacking in subtlety, clever action scenes and plenty of gore ensure "Daybreakers" has more than enough energy and excitement. It's far from perfect, but it's refreshing to see a vampire movie that doesn't suck.
Death Proof
Anthony Macali
Two separate sets of women are stalked at different times by a scarred stuntman who uses his "death proof" cars to execute his murderous plans.
Homage to the classic Grindhouse cinema of the 80's, "Death Proof" is an suspenseful thrill-ride featuring many delightful ladies. With a killer soundtrack, the only thing that slows this vehicle is the tenuous dialogue. Most of the pop culture babble will interest you and a large portion of it won't. But let's not forget we're in a surreal world, where the crazed predator engages in a climatic pursuit which is possibly the best car sequence in history.
Death Race
Andrew O'Dea
Ex-con Jensen Ames is forced by the warden of a notorious prison to compete in our post-industrial world's most popular sport: a car race in which inmates must kill one another on the road to victory.
"Death Race" is a film pertaining to pure mindless entertainment. It takes us on a violent ride fuelled by all the fast cars, big guns, explosions and gore one would typically expect from the unashamed action genre. Fans of such cheap thrills will revel in the fun generated by the constant high-octane race sequences, while those seeking more dramatic substance will find the movie as a whole severely lacking.
Defiance
Andrew O'Dea
The true story of how Jewish brothers in Nazi-occupied Eastern Europe escaped into the Belarussian forests, where they built a village in order to protect about 1,000 Jewish non-combatants.
A sincere and authentically portrayed movie, the sublime production values are prevalent throughout. The story itself remains engrossing for the most part, but there's also a permeate feeling that it could've been better had it defied convention; to better convey the inspiration of the actual events. However, despite this flaw, "Defiance" still serves as an entertaining film that does well to appropriately memorialise one of the more extraordinary stories of WWII.
Die Hard 4.0
Anthony Macali
McClane takes on an Internet-based terrorist organization who is systematically shutting down the US.
This film will appeal those who like their action old school; bad guys and henchman vs the reluctant good guys, carrying an array of bullet wounds and the burden of the country. The director has a real eye for action, the first half of the movie is a refreshing and entertaining thrill of big booms and familiar wisecracks. It's a lot of fun when the baddies die hard, usually with big thuds from large falls. You know it's wandered too far when the pursuits take John to the top of the fighter jet. I prefer my new school action grounded in reality.
District 9
Andrew O'Dea
An extraterrestrial race forced to live in slum-like conditions on Earth suddenly find a kindred spirit in a government agent that is exposed to their biotechnology.
"District 9" is a compelling film of original and insightfully speculative science-fiction. An intelligent and inventive story not only keeps us enthralled, but also provides an allegorically fascinating social commentary. The filmmaker effectively combines interviews and archival footage to bring a gritty and immersive realism to screen. Intertwined in the 'mockumentary' style are vaporizing (at times literally) action sequences that both dazzle and entertain.
Dragonball Evolution
Luke Bartter
The young warrior Son Goku sets out on a quest, racing against time and the vengeful King Piccolo.
This is a bland by-the-numbers adaptation that makes the extraordinary seem ordinary, and where viewers with even the lowest expectations will find disappointment. Poor acting, a predictable story, and weak special effects, it bears a closer resemblance to a compilation of amatuer clips rather than an actual movie. The mercifully brief running time is it's best trait, and all that is required for each of the caricatures to grind out each scene till the ridiculous ending. A harsh betrayal of the manga and anime that came before it, "Dragonball Evolution" is anything but.
Edge of Darkness
Wendy Slevison
As homicide detective Thomas Craven investigates the death of his activist daughter, he uncovers not only her secret life, but a corporate cover-up and government collusion.
Adapted from a popular British television series, "Edge of Darkness" showcases the leading man in his signature genre, the action thriller. Solidly produced, with strong performances and plenty of dramatic tension, most of the film is a satisfyingly intense ride. Unfortunately, the last section becomes somewhat chaotic, and the body count ridiculously high. A word of warning – the storyline is quite complex, so concentrate or you'll be left in the dark.