I Don't Know How She Does It
Courtney Slevison
A comedy centered on the life of Kate Reddy, a working mother trying desperately to juggle marriage, children, and a high-stress job.
This film aims to reflect on the trials of being a working mother in today's post-feminist society. What it does instead is present a hideously outdated view of the clichéd gender roles and insult the intelligence of anyone with two brain cells to rub together, especially working mothers themselves. This is a tedious, unfunny, and poorly made film. The dialogue is so cringe-worthy, and the overall tone so depressing, that it will leave you wondering not how they do it... but why.
The Final Destination
Courtney Slevison
After a teen's premonition of a deadly race-car crash helps saves the lives of his peers, Death sets out to collect those who evaded their end.
Grisly, gory death now comes at us in 3D, yet nothing exciting or fresh is added to the genre. The plot is crazy, convoluted and makes little attempt to be original. This completely unnecessary addition to the franchise takes it to ridiculous new lows, such as death by car wash. Yes, really. Let's just hope they mean it when they say 'final'.
Abduction
Courtney Slevison
A young man sets out to uncover the truth after finding his baby photo on a missing persons website.
This movie feels like nothing more than an extended show reel for the young male lead, dreamed up by studio execs to make an easy buck. The space around the teen heartthrob is filled with an established and highly-regarded supporting cast, who have nothing to work with in a film that has been clumsily put together without even attempting to be clever, entertaining or exciting; all things a good spy flick should be. Underwhelming and completely devoid of any originality or inspiration, "Abduction" is a waste of time.
The Unborn
Courtney Slevison
A young woman fights the spirit that is slowly taking possession of her.
While this film succeeds in providing some moments of suspense and the odd fright, the shocks are cheap and the story is completely unoriginal. The director has relied on gory effects to scare the punters, instead of good old fashioned story-telling. When there are some true masterpieces in the horror genre, sloppy films like this just seem like a waste of time. See something else.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Courtney Slevison
Jack Sparrow and Barbossa embark on a quest to find the elusive fountain of youth.
This installment of the "Pirates" franchise is quite simply a waste of time. Despite a lengthy running time, nothing new or fresh is introduced, nor are existing relationships or characters developed. Everyone's favourite pirate, Jack Sparrow, becomes a parody of his former self as he delivers one cheesy one-liner after another. The film simply goes through the motions without anywhere near the excitement or enchantment of its predecessors. Unfortunately, the amazing set design and dazzling CGI effects are the only saving grace of this sinking ship.
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Courtney Slevison
An elite military unit comprised of special operatives known as G.I. Joe, takes on an evil organization led by a notorious arms dealer.
In an already crowded genre, it takes a lot for a sci-fi action flick to stand out. It requires clever script-writing, restraint in the special effects department and quality acting. This film has none of those elements, and is therefore a forgettable, mediocre experience. The dialogue is so bad it's hard to sit through, and is punctuated every 10 minutes by an action sequence so over-produced it seems cartoon-ish. For die-hard actions fans only!
Fright Night
Courtney Slevison
A teenager suspects that his new neighbour is a vampire.
The 'teenage vampire flick' has become a cinema epidemic, and "Fright Night" wastes no time in slotting itself right into the sexy/comedy/horror genre. Neither funny nor scary enough to hold its own, this latest addition feels like a clumsy mash-up of movies we have all seen before and is therefore predictable, soulless and unengaging. For some, it may be an enjoyable enough way to spend a couple of hours, but ultimately this one is frightfully forgettable.
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant
Courtney Slevison
A teenage boy unknowingly breaks a 200-year-old truce between two warring factions of vampires.
This film has all the right ingredients but never quite lives up to its initial promise. There is great potential in the colourful and quirky characters, but due to a slow and drawn-out plot, they never really get fleshed out. Lying somewhere between comedy and pre-teen horror, there just aren't enough laughs or scares to succeed in either genre. As the title clearly suggests, this film is designed to be the first of a franchise, but for a film about vampires and circus freaks, it just doesn't have enough bite to keep you hooked.
My Bloody Valentine
Courtney Slevison
A decade after the notorious Valentine's Day massacre, Tom returns to his quaint hometown only to find that a string of similar murders has started up.
A remake of the 1981 movie of the same name, "My Bloody Valentine" suffers from a serious case of been there, done that. The film is basically a string of clichéd horror scenarios strung together by a weak and confusing plot. The characters are stiff and unlikeable, making it hard to care when they get hacked to pieces by the revenge-seeking serial killer. While aspiring to be a classic retro slasher flick, this movie struggles to be anything but a waste of time.
Sorority Row
Courtney Slevison
A group of sorority sisters try to cover up the death of their house-sister after a prank gone wrong, only to be stalked by a serial killer.
"Sorority Row" is a typical 80's slasher remake aimed at horny teenagers, promising a few thrills and a few hot girls. The premise evaporates pretty quickly and you won't scream, but rather laugh at the parade of horror clichés and squealing, bra-clad, sorority girls. Definitely not the smartest or scariest horror flick you'll see, but possibly one of the most fun to watch if you don't take it too seriously.
Dear John
Courtney Slevison
A romantic drama about John, a soldier on leave who falls for Savannah, a conservative college student.
We are in very familiar territory with "Dear John", a sappy clichè -ridden tale of young love. This film struggles to elicit an emotional response due to its clumsy dialogue and bland montages spanning John and Savannah's years apart. The rare moments of honest human connection take place between John and his autistic father, yet the tenderness shared between the two is somehow missing between the young lovers. Dear John? Return to sender.
Going the Distance
Courtney Slevison
A look at the trials and tribulations of a long-distance relationship.
"Going the Distance" is a pretty stock-standard romantic comedy. However, having a couple on either sides of the country attemps a twist that simply doesn't work. The pace feels rushed and you never quite feel the chemistry that is meant to be keeping the couple together despite the odds. The leads put in a likeable effort, but the movie as a whole ends up feeling a bit strained, and some moments are just plain awkward. If you go the distance with this film, unfortunately you will be disappointed.
Pardon My French
Courtney Slevison
Novelist Celimene is suffering from a severe case of writers block when she discovers she is being stalked by Anaïs, a strange young woman craving attention.
"Pardon My French" is a simple story of the power that strangers can have on our lives. More a character study than traditional narrative, this film is a snapshot of Celimene's life as she struggles with being stunted both creatively and emotionally. Although the characters are likeable, they remain unengaging and don't hold the viewers intrigue. At times tedious and unfocussed, this quirky film is a pleasant experience, but ultimately forgettable.
The Princess and the Frog
Courtney Slevison
A fairy tale set in Jazz Age-era New Orleans, the film centers on a young girl named Princess Tiana and her fateful kiss with a frog prince who desperately wants to be human again.
"The Princess and the Frog" is a charming and vibrant film that is sure to satisfy its little fans, but unlikely to find itself labeled a classic. Beautifully drawn and steeped in the effervescent glow of New Orleans, it almost rises to the occasion, but somehow manages to fall short in both magic and authenticity. The scattered bursts of jazz music strive to bring the movie to life, but the feature songs are forgettable, unfortunately like much of the film itself.
Scream 4
Courtney Slevison
Ten years have passed, and massacre survivor Sidney Prescott has returned to her hometown.
This instalment of the popular horror franchise reinvents the slasher genre for a savvy new audience. From the hilarious and scream-inducing opening sequence, it's clear that while the film doesn't take itself too seriously, you will definitely be in for a scare. While some of the plot twists are quite predictable, there's some fantastic dialogue and great performances from the predominantly young cast. "Scream 4" plays with the traditional horror formula, letting you believe you know what's coming next, before shocking you with a plot twist that will leave you screaming for more.